|
|
* I am the world's safest driver. ~kt
* I don't like the logic of that sentence. ~Briege
* I like
to keep myself a puzzle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma. ~kt
* You're looking at me like I'm a piece
of steak or something. ~briege
* You are the Queen of Re-Sealing. ~Mrs. Ryan to Briege
* They dont
care what I do with him as long as I don't do anything sadomasochistic. ~briege about Twiggy the Bunny
* You're
just so much fun to grab and grope. ~briege
* Who is you? ~Ang
* God...Speed. ~Mrs. Bennett in
the yearbook
* I didn't even touch your pork. I just pulled on your pants. ~briege to kt
* He enjoys
the wave very much and does it many times. ~briege
* Katie, I have to do you now. ~briege
* Quickie
in the back? ~kt and briege
* I can't feel my legs...I have no legs! ~Can't Hardly Wait and Briege
*
Brow. ~Ang
* "What are you doing?" ~briege "That is between me and my finger." ~kt
* Hey Maggie! Did you hear we might all have tuberculosis?! ~kt in a crowded movie theater
* Now I've lost
all feeling in my finger. ~kt
* I need to be, like, spayed and neutered. ~kt
* I didn't step on
it. I just bounced around on it. ~briege
* Leaking? Am I leaking? ~kt
* Would you like to park?
~Back to the Future and Briege
* Catch me! ~Ang
* 20 elves in a pouch? ~Ang
* They're
in my other bong. ~Ang
* My neck...is killing me...softly...with his hands. ~kt
* Monkey Brains.
~Ang
* Bawidabadibangdibangdiggydiggydiggydiggydiggy...and up chucked the monkey monkey ~Ang and kt version of
Kid Rock song
* Don't you wish you had my hair? ~briege
* You complete me when you do that thing
with your mouth. ~briege
* Senator Palpatine. This Republic senator from Naboo plays lip service to democracy,
but instead practices the politics of deceit, manipulation and control. ~TPM Pepsi can
* Fat little wireless
notebook...not thin little one, fat little one because thin is not cool. ~kt
* "You just spit on me!"
~briege "It was love spit." ~kt
* "Well, screw this for now." ~briege "Let's..."
~kt
* Why mess with perfection. ~kt about Ewan
* What do you have under there anyway? ~briege to
kt
* Either that or he's constipated. ~kt
* Yellow pickle, big yellow pickle, yellow pickle, big
yellow pickle...random stork. ~kt watching pickle commercial
* Never trust evil people. ~kt
* C'mon!
Dont give me a hernia! ~kt driving
* We'll look back on this in 10 years and wonder what the hell we weren't
on. ~kt
* I don't like being around people with happy pills. ~briege
* Be right back. My bra came
unsnapped again. ~briege
* ...hotburgers and hamdogs... ~briege
* What would you do if you looked
out your window and saw a random building...shooting filing cabinet drawers at you? ~kt to briege while watching Monty Python
Meaning of Life
* Sean, who turned you on? ~briege
* Fortunately, I'm under a blanket. ~briege
* I have a couple reasonable friends but I don't do anything with them. ~briege
* My flabby butt...it likes
to move around. ~briege
* "Who turned you on?" ~kt "You did." ~briege
* Help
yourself to my legs. ~kt to briege
* I'm going to flash you now. ~briege
* I like using my whole
ass. ~briege
* Me and my hair want to be alone. ~briege
* It's my butt. It's mine. I like it. ~briege
* Pregnant? ~kt with flyer
* Are you too good for my drinks? ~briege
* I like my thumb. My thumb
and I want to be alone. ~briege
* What do you plan on doing with that rubber glove? ~briege
* Do
you have many rubber gloves or just the one? ~ang
* Why does that moon look like Nixon? ~kt about sticker
* What are you, like a freakin' Martha Stewart? ~ang
* I'm trying to quit. Im using Nicoderm CQ. ~maggie
* A sleep system...what do ya mean, like a mattress? ~ang
* They're like an army of Iron Chefs. ~ang
* My biscuit is limp. ~briege
* I have froiliscious hair. ~briege
* That's just bunk. ~Ang
* How 'bout we grope Katie and slap her. ~briege
* Hey, don't make me pull out my leather pants. ~ang
* Maggie doesn't like my light saber. ~briege
* Okay, closet speed freak. ~ang
* Can we call
you bong? ~ang
* Woo, I'm a hootchie momma. ~briege
* Your train of thought derailed then crashed
into a wall. ~ang
* Your soul train is dead. ~ang
* Sleep takes away your insanity. ~ang
* Can I call you Sergeant Sleep? ~Ang
* I was the most popular kid in my class. ~briege
* The
groin is a very good area to go to. ~briege inspired by ang
* The wheel is turning but the hamster's dead. ~maggie
* You know my motto: binge and purge. ~ang
* She's the Sacred Heart Madame. ~briege about ang
*
I think I'll crawl back into my corner and rot. ~kt
* Are you dancing around in a sheet? ~kt
* Turn
the light saber off. We should do hand to hand combat. ~briege
* I don't want to sleep with him. ~kt
* Hey, you wanna get out of my armpit? ~kt
* Hey, I'm high on life. ~briege
* The teapot's talking
to me. ~briege
* As long as it's not illegal, I say go for it. ~briege
* Why don't you guys go get
high off paint fumes? ~ellie
* I have no pulse. ~ang
* I don't care what it bloody looks like. Isn't
school supposed to be good for my mind? ~ang
* I'm trying to get you warm, you freak. ~briege
*
I'm no more psychotic than the psychos in the psycho ward at the psycho hospital. ~kt
* You're such a wimp. All
you have to do is blow on it really really hard. ~briege to kt
* Getting personal with the pizza? ~ang
* I don't shower and tell. ~ang
* There's a party in my mouth and youre all invited. Ole! ~Briege
* I don't shower, I use perfume. Hon hon hon. I drive my
* The mold adds flavor! ~briege
* I'm
the missing link. ~ang the barbarian aka Zena Warrior Princess
* I like my men in elementary school. ~ang
* Whatever bizarre logic you come up with, I can out logic you. ~ang
* When I laugh, my head, like, jiggles.
~briege
* He has tenderloins in his pitching arm? ~ang
* Why are you grabbing my chicken? ~briege
* You look like a turkey or a lamb. ~broch
* Mmm, heart attack in a can! ~ang
* You know what
I realized? I could never be a professional...ummm...whats the word...football player. ~ang
* Ow! McGovern-Shriver
just went up my butt! ~briege about a pin
* I feel a sneeze coming on. Can I have a fry? ~briege
*
When do you want me on? ~briege
* I feel as though I'm losing an ounce. I must gain it back. ~briege
* Use your fingers, Katie. ~briege
* "You know what we have to buy?" ~briege "Lives."
~kt
* What would you do if you randomly rolled over and your doll was breathing? ~kt
* I'm not really
in a law-abiding mood. ~kt
* If you come to a fork in the road, pull out your lunch. ~pat
* I have
psychic butt powers. ~briege
* I like talking into a razor. ~kt about the comlink
* A pelvic thrust
can drastically change the direction of a conversation. ~briege
* Dude, my fly's down again. ~briege
* We could have a threesome sleepover. ~briege
* Never trust a guy with slicked-back hair. ~kt
*
I was feeling my flab...do you have a problem with me feeling my flab? ~briege
* "What are you doing with
that spoon?" ~kt "Making out with it. I like to make out with spoons." ~briege
* I wouldn't
call him a hottie and jump on him or something. ~briege
* Black. I'm a dark person. ~kt about her color
* This room just makes you want to dance. ~briege
* What did you get from the Country Day School of the Sacred
Sluts? ~kt to briege
* You are one lovely ass. ~briege
* Cupcake's decided to have some fun with
himself in there. ~briege
* I am the epitome of sarcasm. ~kt
* People log in but they don't log
out. ~briege
* It's okay when it's tested on animals. ~kt
* Do you like it when I push your buttons?
~ang
* ...with E.D. featuring Bob Dole. ~briege
* "You know what we should do?" ~briege
"Get the feeling back in our legs?" ~kt
* "Why is the microwave door open?" ~kt "So
the little people can read their books." ~mom
* I have the biggest urge to drive with my feet out the window.
~kt
* I have to return my butt. Mine is cracked. ~kt
* Speeding is a happy place. ~briege
* "You Ram that Dodge." ~kt "Can I Ram your Dodge?" ~briege
* Oh be quiet, you black
balloon loving fool. ~kt to Goo-Goo Dolls on the radio
* I feel the need to experience some angelanence, and
she's off gambling, so... ~briege about ang
* I am simple, like a Pringle. ~Carson Daly
* The twins
are growing up. ~briege
* My twins are going down the alphabet. ~briege
* "Hey, you touch that
leg." ~kt "I'm sorry, it was there." ~briege
* I'm hot, I'm tasty, and I'm 99 cents. ~kt
* When you're easy, that's the way it is. ~briege
* That's what sucks about having twins that like to run
down the alphabet. ~briege
* I can't help it. They're always there and they're like, Hi! Whats up? ~briege
* I hate the cops. They're so legal. ~kt
* I think she's mad because you didn't return her affection. ~kt
* I am the host-ass with the most-ass. ~briege
* I feel bad for him, except for the fact he's old and skanky
and probably looking to rape someone. ~kt about a hitchhiker
* Don't get your paper nastiness on my mouth. ~briege
* Get off my mouth piece! ~briege
* Where are you coming up with these phantom cars? ~ang
*
Your speakers are making funny farting noises at me. ~kt to ang about her car
* When you get off the crack, let
me know. ~ang
* It has your buttness on it. ~briege
* Stop grabbing at me. ~briege
*
My invisible friend was a bad boy. ~kt
* I like the aisle. Me and the aisle have a thing. ~kt
* I am
so in the mood to see a 'hump' sign. ~briege
* Label jars, not people. ~sign in front of a church
* I
just wanna jump on the screen. ~briege
* Let me come over there and grope you. Maybe that'll stop you. ~briege
* Your pants are so profitable. ~kt
* Stop using my name in vain. ~kt
* Sister's a freak in a bucket.
~ellie
* I'm as straight as I'll ever be. ~kt
* Maggie! Go call 9-1-....1-1-1-1... ~kt
* You've
got to break some eggs if you want to make some omelets. ~mr K
* You're all damned to hell! ~vt
* They're
not going to come up to you and say 'I'm going to rip you off.' ~vt about people who rip you off
* You are the parcel
of my pomp. ~kt (inspired by 'Ceremony of Carols')
* I'm on an ass kick. ~kt
* I hate broccoli, yet in
a certain sense, I am broccoli. ~broch
* The cheese wagon has arrived. ~dubes
* Everyone corrupts me.
~tina
* He's allowed to be gay because he likes dogs. ~maggie
* Blank verse is when Hamlet has nothing
to say. ~robbie (someone in another class said that)
* "What are you looking for?" ~class "A spoon."
~vt "Why?" ~class "Because I thought you were the class that wanted to be spoonfed." ~vt
*
I have to go to the bathroom....outside...in the bushes... ~kt
* "What happened to them?" ~kt "They
died, fell off a cliff, killed themselves with a lightsaber." ~pat about Blues Traveller
* It'd be college
if we were in jeans and sweatshirts. But we're not and it isn't ~kt
* Go call CPR! ~maggie
* Would you
stop with the flab grabbing! ~kt
* I can't work through my inner feelings without my makeup on. ~julie bendit
* The slug is ambidextrous. ~maggie
* I met a girl that I dated for a year. What a horrible breakup that was.
~vt
* I'd say I feel sorry for you. But then I remember I teach them too. ~vt to mr k about us
* Can I
be a wedgie giver? ~broch
* "Mr Taylor likes his wedgies." ~kt "I give them to him." ~broch
* "For $100,000, would you let Rod Stewart give you an atomic wedgie?" ~aja "Do I get to kick his butt
afterwards?" ~vt
* Would this compromise my morals...? ~vt
* Going up the hill, I shall return...God
this room's a mess... ~vt
* I'm just having a stroke, it's okay. ~maggie
KAIROS QUOTES START HERE
* I don't think he likes Barbie too much, if you get what I mean. ~maggie about Ken
* Been there, done that,
bought the t-shirt. ~kt
* The truck is passing us like we're a parked car. ~broch
* I don't want you fondling
the cheese. ~mancini
* My only defense is sitting on people. ~broch
* What's wrong with you? You're evil,
you're Satan...Katie Mannion is like Satan #2. ~broch to mancini i think
* My thin red line is growing thin. ~kt
* Swelly smeatsocks. ~broch
* You're the cheese in my cheese whiz. ~cara
* Time to get gassy in the
bathroom. ~kt
* Fuck it. ~vt
* It's a 'breeze' way. ~broch
* Oh, it's churning. ~kt
*
"Anybody bring Gas-Ex?" ~broch "No, but now it's coming up my throat." ~kt
* Warning! The cargo
was not shipped! ~broch
* You don't mind if I fart during this, do you? ~kt
* You best not sit down wind
from me. ~kt
* Even if she's farting, I'm content to stay here. ~becky
* I wouldn't do that. Pressure
might release something. ~becky
* "Are you done?" ~kt "I'm done everything you need to see."
~broch changing
* I love the rebound off my butt. ~becky
* It's just a big pissing thing. ~kt
*
I hate these questions, because I have to, like, think. ~persia
* Goddammit, we're just the best goddamn class.
~mary
* I've come to the conclusion from Kairos that Flopsy is God. ~broch
* "I think God comes in
the form of pets." ~broch "Then God really loves bananas, let me tell you." ~kt
* Maggie, get wacky.
~broch
* Hewo, this is Bawaw Wawa. ~broch
* Are you biting me or is that your thumb? ~kt
* It
makes me want to go jogging or something but I'll resist the urge. ~maggie
* Tom Cruise...he can cruise around my
block anytime. ~broch
* "Who farted?" ~broch "It might have been me, I don't know." ~maggie
* Ooo, the mass orgy is going on. I gotta get in there. ~mary
* Would you stop caressing my ear with your pen?
~aja
* Trois-ha-ha. ~Becca
* There's no crying at Kairos! ~persia
* Those asses are twins! ~cogs
* Me and the road are having issues. ~broch
* What's Aja doing? Taking the dump of a lifetime? ~dubes
* I smell like crap. ~broch
* You may look, but don't touch the merchandise. ~kt
* I don't want to
lose my cheesiness. ~broch about Kairos experience
END KAIROS
* I'm picking at my nose, not picking my
nose, picking at it. ~kt
* I'm very generic looking. ~broch
* I've decided no more mass orgies or molesting.
~briege
* She sees the white flesh and goes for it. ~kt
* That's what you get when you thrust your barefeet
in people's faces. ~briege
* Thrust! ~kt
* I wish I was flexible so I could get my leg around your neck.
~kt
* I'm ready for the mass orgy now. ~broch
* "I still can't breathe." ~broch "Maybe you
should put your pants down." ~kt
* Do not molest the trees and shrubs. ~Appalachia park sign
* For
$100 million I'd do it with Chewie. ~amanda
* Sorry, I wasn't listening. I was in my own little world. ~kt
*
I hear voices in my head. ~helms
* Does anybody have a knife so I can just slit my wrists? ~dubes
* I think
it's just adorable how teachers think they're gonna collect homework. ~mary
* Avert your eyes! The leaves are changing!
~kt
* My obsession with Ewan McGregor, a continuing series. ~kt
* "Mary Horstman could be walking down
the street..." ~mr K "...and an anvil falls on her head." ~amanda
* I don't like this discussion.
I'm gonna close my ears and be an atheist now. ~dubes
* That's sacriligeous! You're gonna burn in hell! ~amanda
* I wouldn't be a draft dodger. I'd be a consciencious objector. ~mr K
* You're bigger than most of us. ~smithers
* If I was lying on the floor, I would expect someone to tie my shoes together. ~kt
* An essay should be like
a woman's skirt: long enough to cover everything but short enough to make it interesting. ~robbie
* Helms is rubbing
off. This is really sad. ~mrs mancini
* I love those mittens. Whenever they go by, I say 'Wow, I love those mittens.'
~mary
* I'm high in protein. ~broch
* These people own guns. These people are psychos who live in Montana.
~vt
* I'll be quiet if you give me a cookie. ~mary
* She just got acid on my face! ~tines
* Anyone
have any extra acid? ~dubes
* "Kate went down to get a knife." ~amanda "Not for me, I hope."
~smithers
* I go around kissing dead girls all the time. ~becky
* I have no notes, my book is in a different
language... ~lindsay in calc
* I don't date that much. ~becky
* Stop yanking my head. ~helms
*
"Stop whistling." ~hayburn "Stop listening?" ~kt
* Don't make me look at you. I'll drive off
the road. ~broch
* Why are you pathologically massaging your chin? ~briege
* You burpless loser. ~kt
* "Should I take the front way or the back way?" ~broch "I would take the front way." ~kt "You
would." ~broch
* It's a bell with a crack...like my butt. ~kt about Liberty Bell
* Stop cowing. ~krop
* I stuck my hand in a cow's ass before. ~broch
* My buns have shades. ~krop
* Why am I your designated
slave? ~tina
* I like getting black eyes. It makes me feel special. ~tines
* Would you like to smell me?
~madeleine
* Yesterday I had really bad gas. And this Villa girl was following me and I just let it loose. ~madeleine
about playing field hockey
* Do you feel all warm and fuzzy? ~anne
* Just stop living. ~kt
* "Backfired,
didn't it?" ~broch "My butt does." ~kt
* Talk to Mary. She's used to molesting young girls. ~tina
* Mary, if you died right now, it would be a joy to me. ~tina
* "Sacred Heart girl burns down school..."
~robbie "...everyone jumps for joy." ~helms
* I wonder if you can slit your wrists with a pretzel. ~maggie
* You find bubbles more interesting than me. ~mrs mancini
* Why don't you take out a whip and beat us. ~dubes
* My bottom hurts. ~maggie
* "Who aren't a very bright class, Mr Taylor?" ~maggie "The freshmen."
~vt
* "I hate when I have the runs." ~anne "Not me, I love it." ~mary
* Midgets are
always disgruntled. ~mancini
* "Mary wants Sister to..." ~eileen "...move to Tibet." ~mary
* "I came out..." ~briege "You came out?!" ~kt
* I need gas. I hope Delaware has gas. ~kt
* "I'm playing a slutty pregnant actress in the play." ~bridget o'donnell "Well, if the shoe fits..."
~mr K
* We have to jump Mr Keaveney. ~briege
* Nothing like sex, drugs, and Calculus. ~broch
*
Let's quit school and take up prostitution. ~broch
* Somebody's shoulder-happy! ~kt
* Your pronouns are
confusing me. ~robbie
* Phantace Menom... ~ellie
* My ears need to be able to hear. ~mrs mancini
*
I have to go talk to Sister. I have to work my charm. ~helms
* "O-tay." ~mr K "Did you just say O-tay?
I used to always say that when I was little." ~corinne
* Arguing is making me hungry. ~broch
* I have
really good grapes today. ~mannion
* You want a piece of this? ~vt
* I think I should just kill myself.
~helms
* But geez, gosh, golly... ~vt
* I love meat. ~broch
* Mary, you should, like, paint yourself
red. ~tines
* I eat like a banshee. ~corinne
* Stop being perverted. ~mancini
* Advil has the best
coating. ~tiens
* I can feel my heartbeat in my fingertips all the time. ~amanda
* Can we all roll around
on the floor? ~dubes
* "I have to go to the doctor." ~lindsay "That's nice." ~hayburn
*
Something about his pet tree that pees on dogs... ~ellie
* I got to eat Obi-Wan. ~kt
* I'll have to rip
their arm off and beat them with the wet end. ~ellie
* Bring on the nerds! ~mckinlay
* Ahh, the power of
the mighty toilet. ~kt flushing a bug
* This is an abomination of the parent system. ~tina
* Mmm...smells
like I just walked into an ashtray. ~kt entering D24
* "That was a nice wall of lab gas smell we just walked
into." ~kt "Mmm, love sulfuric acid in the morning." ~maggie
* K-man's there. Let's molest him. ~lindsay
* If it looks like it's breakable, break it. ~lindsay
* She should just perish. ~helms
* "What
does antifreeze do to you if you eat it?" ~madeleine "It kills you but we won't go into that..." ~mrs mancini
* I'm concerned about not being caught when I kill Mr Hayburn. ~kt
* Prep is so Junior year. ~persia
*
Social Justice can be theraputic. ~mr K
* "How much influence do you have over a friend?" ~mr k "If
I hold a gun to her head, a lot." ~kt
* Don't ruin my diabolical plan. ~mr K
* If you said to the Sophomores
they can come to Appalachia and actually drive them to your house, they'd be like "Wow, that was a really short trip."
~mary
* I was about to march over there and give her a piece of my mind. ~corinne
* I was about to give her
a taste of my back hand. ~dubes
* Be giddy with Maggie. ~kt
* You invade my personal space and then you want
my help? ~kt
* You know what else vents frustration? Stabbing someone in the eye with JarJar. ~kt with JarJar pen
* I'm not going to sit in the back row all by myself hooting. ~kt
* Why am I so damn good looking? ~tines
* Was that a burp? It sounded like a raptor dying. ~kt
* A light has just dawned. ~kt
* You call me fat
and then you want my help? ~kt
* What profession would this aid us in so I can avoid it? ~becky
* Is that
a bowel movement or is that a baby? ~dubes
* Kathy Lee Gifford is a piece of crap. ~dubes
* I'm so moldy.
~broch
* Been there, smelled that. ~kt
* ...I go home and cry in my pillow every night... ~mr K
*
Rhode Island is neither a road nor an island. Discuss. ~mr K
* It smells like rotten milk back here. What are you
doing? ~aja
* So Laura...you're not Laura...Maggie... ~vt
* I don't care about you guys. ~vt
* Mr
Taylor was like 'She's VERY good at what she does.' ~aja
* I call a moratorium on all animal sounds in my car. ~maggie
* I like your horn. ~broch
* We can be screwed together. ~kt
* You're an acid, you crusty bitch. ~eileen
* I have a peculiar question. ~broch
* Men should all be shot. ~helms
* Freak ass...Free gas ~broch and
kt
* All Hail Maggie, Queen of the Morals. ~broch
* It's just Persia. She's a brute. ~amanda
* Life
doesn't happen in a vacuum. ~mary
* I want to read your cheese. ~kt
* I didn't recognize you with your clothes
on! ~robbie
* Ahh! The bees are eating my flesh! ~amanda
* I'm in such a telling-off mood. ~kt
* I
can't take three genitals in a row. ~smithers
* Well, is the crack in my ass smiling or frowning? ~dubes
*
You name yourself after a country and you think... ~smithers to aja
* Ow! I just strained my crotch! ~aja
*
Stop banging the desk. ~becky
* "You're 10 minutes late." ~vt "I'll stay 10 minutes after." ~helms
* Are you wearing grannie-panties? ~anne
* Taylor, we're in a heated game of Jenga. ~tines
* How 'bout
this: you read the blanks and we skip right to the candy. ~mary
* Taylor! God you're annoying me! ~helms
*
"Because he's a scumbag..." ~madeleine "...and a horn ball." ~helms about Clinton
* Oh, I can't
speak today. ~maggie
* My dad's gonna take the whip out tonight and beat me. ~dubes
* I'm swimming in a sea
of chicken nuggets. ~tina
* With me use the complement but with everyone else use the supplement. ~tina
*
It's about me. I'm haunting and sexy. ~kt
* Somebody needs to be neutered. ~kt
* Oh TV. What would I do without
it? Shoot myself or read more often. ~kt
* I can see up your nose and what a mighty fine booger that would be. ~kt
* You're a psycho with principles. ~briege to kt
* I am the Queen of Promptness. ~kt
* If bony is beautiful,
just slap me on the butt and call me ugly. ~kt
* I'm a Renaissance girl. ~kt
* I have bumper ability but I
choose not to utilize it. ~broch
* Whenever I'm tan I wish I had a tangerine bathing suit. ~madeleine
* I'm
a bastard, what can I say. ~mr K
* I think I'd be a damn good president. ~mr K
* I think my hamburger's burning.
~vt
* "Well, look at Clinton..." ~kt "I'd rather not." ~broch
* Mr Smith is looking good,
we decided. ~either Anne, Dubes, or Tines
* Was that a hiccup or were you spasming? ~kt
* Do you want me to
commit suicide right now...tomorrow...or Friday? ~helms
* Maggie, did you eat our assets? ~broch
* No dinging.
~maggie
* I'm participating from satellite hook-up. ~mary
* I think my glasses went into my nasal cavity.
~broch
* I don't make anything more normal. ~smithers
* I'm sorry I don't fit into your idea of life. ~Reader's
Theater
* I'm not making fun of actors...not really. ~smithers
* I was like smelling my feet all day. ~kt
* I told Mrs Smith I was pregnant today. ~ellie
* "Didn't you want to be the one whose foot fit in the slipper?"
~robbie "I wanted to be Superwoman." ~eileen
* I was out for blood and I thought one of the kindergartners
took it. ~mannion about her dog pencil case
* "I'm such an idiot." ~helms "Well, we won't contradict
that statement." ~mrs mancini
* I had to take a shower because I really didn't feel like smelling today. ~briege
* You know you're really learning when you're confused. ~mary
* Bumblebee bookpack. ~kt
* Leave the room.
Be confused. Go forth and confuse others. ~mrs mancini
* Pariah day is tomorrow. ~mary
* Don't bust on Canada.
They have a great national anthem. ~mr K
* All the teachers here are college graduates and look where they are. ~corinne
* I'm enlightened, that's why I didn't volunteer. ~kt
* "This school takes everybody though." ~maggie
"Thanks." ~mr K
* There's a whole conspiracy against us. ~amanda
* "So you were basically a
nerd." ~mary "Well, I was more in the dork section." ~mr K
* Fat people are supposed to be jolly...do
I look jolly to you? ~kt
* I'm leaving. I just have to figure out how. ~mrs powers
* I can think of nothing
more cultured than tin foil in the shape of a duck. ~smithers
* You guess? He's either a guy or a girl...he can't
be an 'I guess.' ~amanda
* Mary, sleep with your eyes wide open. ~dubes
* Horstmann, when I drive you home
today, don't be surprised when I drive you off a cliff. ~tina
* Becky's a headcase. ~helms
* I just wanna
take a gun and kill myself. ~dubes entering Calc class
* I don't like other people's fingers in my head. ~tines
* "Something I can get really close to but can't touch." ~hayburn "Me." ~kt
* I punched out.
~becky
* "How come Kate always gets special treatment?" ~tines "Kate always gets special treatment
by the male teachers." ~helms
* Aja's mounting me! ~dubes
* I haven't warmed my calculator yet. ~becky
* Does anybody else feel like a pizza? ~becky
* Mr Hayburn, Tines is a prostitute. ~helms
* Everyone should
be shot in here. ~dubes
* We'll share it...compromise. Life is about compromise, Mr Hayburn. ~tines
* And
then we go to the backside...and what a mighty fine backside that would be. ~kt
* We wanted our own private orgy. ~kt
* You're just one giant ass. ~briege
* If you want another load off your mind, go to the bathroom. ~kt
*
I'm sweating like a hog before a luau. ~broch
* I feel like there's a monster eating away at my intestines. ~broch
* Today is such a lovely day. No Calculus, ton's of studies, and...my lover. ~kt
* You know when Donald Trump is
calling you crazy, you have problems. ~mary
* I lost my pot. Can I get some more? ~kt
* Boycotts, boyshmotts.
~mary
* You're a hot cucumber. ~ellie
* I feel 'HI!' off of it. ~broch
* So you make us all happy with
food and then you squash us with a quiz? ~broch
* Do you pass gas in your ass? ~briege
* Briege, cuddle with
me and make me toasty warm. ~briege
* Not the buttbone! Not the buttbone! ~broch
* "Katie, your butt's
so hot!" ~broch "I know. It's just so steamy." ~kt
* We need paddles and balls for our mass orgy. ~kt
* Take your pen and be alone with it. ~broch
* Somebody kill me and beat me with a stick...not necessarily in that
order. ~broch
* Our school should be called 'The Pregnzone.' ~broch
* You used to have that spunk...that vitality
about you. ~tines to vt
* Mr Hayburn is my death. ~broch
* Mr Smith, did you fiancee buy you a birthday suit?
~dubes
* Aja is sick today? So what disease does she have this week? ~smithers
* Ducks don't get lost. Ducks
have duckdar. ~tines
* "I can see Mr Smith on a camel." ~dubes "Hahaha...I can't." ~smithers
* "Would you like a rabbit?" ~broch "Is is nonchocolate?" ~vt
* Becky and her menage-a-trois
boys are coming over. ~tina
* Point that thing somewhere else. ~ellie
* I have three lumps. ~briege
*
Evil shouldn't look this good. ~random sticker
* Marky-Mark has a happy trigger finger. ~kt watching Three Kings
* George Clooney is so wise...skanky, but wise. ~kt watching 3 Kings
* I got addicted to it over that...long...period
of time...we didn't...have...school...summer! ~kt about pepsi
* It was real hot chocolate, not powdery carbonated...
carbonated? I really need sleep. ~broch
* I swear I'm falling apart. ~briege
* "Does she smoke herself?"
~briege "No, she used to." ~kt "She just smokes other people." ~broch
* Oh water, how do I love
thee? Let me count the ways. ~broch
* I'm just juggling my leg. I choose not to bounce up and down. ~briege
*
You shoved a pack of M&Ms in your mouth? How did that wrapper taste? ~broch
* 'Would you like to get hit by Hurricane
Laura?' It's a good pick-up line. ~broch
* Only four colors? My creative talents are being squashed. ~kt
* Insanity
runs rampant like little bunny Foo-Foo hopping through the forest. ~maggie
* Chestnut Hill? A fight in Chestnut Hill?
They're upper-crusty there. ~vt
* I feel like a chipmunk. My pouches are full. ~corinne
* I want to burst into
flames and implode. ~tina
* Except Mr Smith sounded like he should've been on an infomercial. We all looked at each
other and we were like 'Wow.' ~mrs mancini
* And what delusional world are you living in? ~kt
* As soon as you
came out of hiding, they'd notice you weren't a little green martian. ~mr K
* It's okay! You're fat...but it's okay!
~becky
* Let's take it to the limit one more time. ~helms
* Mary's seducing me. ~helms
* The mold's getting
on my skin. ~broch
* I think I'm gonna move up to AP Calculus for the fun of it. ~mary
* "Aja has gonorhea
again." ~tines "She's having bouts of it?" ~smithers
* You were going so slowly and then you sped up
into the back of my car. ~smithers to amanda
* Where did Dupert bop off to? ~cogs
* B.U. don't be me. ~broch
* "I can't jump out that window. My butt's too big." ~broch "Well, you could turn sideways." ~becky
* This is the bus. It's when you're anti-social and pretend there's no one around you. ~liz james
* Do I have some
intellectual freedom in my role? ~vt about being in Stage Door
* I don't want to be back in the land of the bugs. ~annie
in biology room
* I decided to be sugary today. ~broch
* I go home and belch in my brother's face and he's like
'Teach me, Wise One.' ~broch
* Dubes, it's only you and me. Take the kilt off and the panties! ~tines
* You're
the best Becky Koob I ever met. ~hayburn
* Broch, you're frothy. ~maggie
* We have to start talking about Social
Justice now before I puke. ~mr K
* Don't come a knockin' when the 'Burb is rockin' ~tines
* Yeah, I went home
and two burly men were waiting for me. Thanks, Katie, for the gift. ~mr K
* So if somebody came up to you in the parking
lot and hit you with a crowbar, you wouldn't do anything? ~broch to mr K
* Maggie has decided to quit her aspirations
to be a doctor and be a pimp daddy. ~broch
* I think Mr Taylor put something in the air. ~broch
* "But the
problem is that fleece doesn't stop the wind." ~kt "Or people would wear fleece underwear." ~broch
*
Let's not cuddle again. ~becky
* Would the two of you just cool it? Come on, who wants to be neutered? ~kt
* Can
I call you 'stud muffin' from now on? ~becky
* Your name must be John Crapper because you're crapping me. ~broch
*
Katie, you're being generous today. Is something wrong? ~becky
* Can we leave and go to Wendy's? ~anne in calc
*
I had a childhood experience that makes me hate snot. ~anne
* Can we work out now? ~anne in calc
* 29 is, like,
really close to 30. ~broch
* Let's just say this school's different. ~smithers
* "They die very easily because
they're not in their climate." ~amanda "Right...how many of us are?" ~smithers
* Well, if you poke it,
I will move. ~kt
* Watch out. The seat belt tends to molest people. ~kt in the Olds
* Let's go have a mass orgy
in the leaf pile. ~broch
* I bang mine so much that it would just get bent. ~broch
* My 6-pack is well insulated.
~broch
* Everything looks so creepy on your face, Brochet. ~briege
* Who's rubbing their leg against my leg? ~ellie
* You have the antithesis of earlobes. ~briege to kt
* My brother raked a huge leaf pile! Let's go leap in it! ~broch
* Oh my...she's alone...with her hand. ~kt
* I don't swing that way. ~ellie
* Elastic is the only way to go.
It just keeps expanding. ~broch
* I'm gonna explode...in a bad way. ~kt
* It's covering my flab. No flab to grab.
~broch
* Grabbing of the overhang is bad. ~briege
* I got the young'uns falling all over me. ~briege
* DEB
is not a believer in the extra-large. ~broch
* Who knew marble could be so comfy. ~kt sitting on the KoP floor
*
Lover, you never buy me coffee. ~briege
* Did you just call me a Spaz? Yes you did thank you. ~annie
* I'm full
of mucus. I'm trying to suppress it with a bagel. ~broch
* I hit my elbow. It's Monday. And I hate you. ~kt
*
Where do we get these Popes? From the gutter? ~mary
* Look at Smithers, whacking Becky down. ~amanda
* Mr Taylor,
I'll pay you to run over me with your car. ~broch
* "Can I tell a joke?" ~eileen "Is it dirty?"
~vt
* (burp) ewwww, something came up with that one. ~kt
* We have a sex change operation going on here. ~McKinlay
during Stage Door rehearsal
* Are you working for Satan today? ~amanda
* I'm waiting for a bolt of lightning to
come through the window. ~mr K
* He's on the field playing with himself. ~dubes about hayburn
* I'm afraid I'm
going to break the desk and then I'll feel like an oaf. ~tina
* You know, when Mary and I first met you, we thought
'He's the kind of guy who would let us go out and play kickball.' ~tina to hayburn
* You're such a random stalker. ~briege
* "Keaves, do you want to beat me with a whip?" ~dubes "I'm a pacifist." ~mr K
* Mr Hayburn,
I'm afraid I'm going to have an accident. ~tina
* Calculus brings out the migraines in me. ~becky
* Let's tackle
him. ~helms about hayburn
* My reflexes are such idiots. ~broch
* I'm a square root. ~becky
* "You
have chalk on your pants." ~anne "I have chalk everywhere." ~hayburn
* Kate, sometimes you just gotta
skip 1st base and go to 2nd. ~helms
* "I'm the lay-out editor..." ~becky "And you have the boyfriend
to help you." ~kt
* Katie, are you being perverted over there? ~briege
* Did you have to hoist the flag?
~kt
* Don't grope the grapes. ~ang
* Damn, there's tax in this state. ~ang about PA
* If I saw that thing
hanging from my straw, I'd be like...mmmm...take it back. ~ang
* "Everytime I open it, it gets looser and looser."
~kt "So do I." ~brochMiss 99 on Calc test. I know you got some...after school tutoring...an after school special.
~broch to mary
* I don't really want to go to a party where people get drunk and rub up against each other. ~becky
*
I have enough problems with people invading my personal space. ~ellie
* I don't care who you are. Don't grope each other
or me. ~briege
* Our will to live has been crushed. ~mary
* How much teenage sex can you watch? ~mitsler
*
Anyone who uses 'fart' in a sentence more than once needs to be shot. ~amanda
* You want to grope and molest people?
~amanda
* Mr Hayburn, how coudl you ask someone to take their pants off? ~helms
* It should be quick and painless.
~hayburn
* Mr Hayburn is giving me the evil eye and I'd hate to upset him. ~tina
* I'm like a deer in the...wait,
wrong...I'm like a happy dog. ~dubes
* I'd offer you drugs, but that won't work. ~hayburn
* Laura, I hate you. I
hope you catch on fire. ~tina
* Everything's a freakin' crow! ~mcG
* Which student do you think you could throw
the farthest if you had to? ~smithers to mcG
* Does it make sense? I know it's random, but does it make sense? ~smithers
* "I have to go to the bathroom." ~mary "That's nice." ~hayburn "Number 1 and 2." ~mary
"She's soiling herself!" ~dubes "I don't feel like sitting next to a smell machine." ~tina
* We
don't go home and beat our heads against the wall like I do with this class. ~tina in calc
* "Do you have a girlfriend?"
~anne "No." ~hayburn "Do you like girls?" ~anne
* I"m not marrying for money. I'm marrying
for looks. ~tina
* I could go for a pickle right now. ~becky
* You're so freakin' garlicy. ~briege
* You keep
making me think that I smell, but then I think, 'Oh yeah, it's your bagel.' ~briege to broch
* You will not induce me
to start hiccupping. ~briege
* Number 1 Rule of Bowling: do not play with other people's balls. ~ellie
* I'm not abusing
you. I'm embracing you. ~broch
* The back of me looks like Chewie. ~ellie
* "Don't you hate it when your girlfriend
doesn't trust you?" ~kt "No...wait, I don't have a girlfriend." ~briege
* She's heavier than I am and
twinsier than I am. ~briege
* You and your little fang have the creepiest smile. ~briege to kt
* It's boiling when
it bubbles right? ~kt
* You're not even creative enough to come up with something random? ~briege to kt
* This is
not a brain surgeon. ~sean
* You're easily amused and I'm easily confused. ~briege to kt
* We look like a pair of
bouncing twins. ~kt
* Mr Keaveney, I believe I soiled myself. Can I go to the bathroom? ~aja
* They're all just mounties
riding horses out in the mountains. ~broch about Canadians
* I'm hyper on nothingness. ~broch
* Hey Boss, nice to
see ya. Wanna see my thong? ~broch being Lewinsky
* Life sucks. Eat a donut. ~kt
* Stop touching yourself. ~hayburn
* Please don't touch my desk. It sickens it. ~kt
* "What purpose do guinea pigs serve?" ~broch "They're
finger foods." ~amanda
* Smithers could give three rats' asses about Topanga and Cory. ~amanda
* Smithers asked
Smithers and Smithers responded with a negatory. ~amanda
* She has a lazy boy...lazy eye. ~amanda about robbie
* "I
hate whining." ~hayburn "It's a good thing we're not living together." ~broch
* Your middle name is Lucifer.
~dubes to mr K
* I've decided to amuse you with my note taking ability. ~mary
* Theoretically, Mary, you're a pain
in my white butt. ~helms
* What is this 'pi' you speak of? ~dubes
* Your hands should all be up so maybe I'm beating
a dead horse. ~robbie
* Sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and lemon drops don't blow my skirts up. ~becky
* Look! He's
fighting a naked chick! And she's kicking his ass! ~broch watching a Keanu movie
* "You can't go wrong with Keanu
Reeves." ~becky "Yes you can. He's like trisexual." ~beth
* Look! He's got man boobies! Look at the size
of those things! He should be wearing a bra! ~broch watchin movie
* My ears are whooshing. ~broch
* If you turn a
bobbing-head doll sideways, it says 'No.' ~broch
* Just say 'yes' and let's end this conversation. ~kt
* All one-eyed
English teachers are nymphos. ~tina
* I'm sorry, Becky, I'm just not paying any attention to you. ~mrs mancini
* "why
are you looking for rubber gloves?" ~broch "Because you need a rectal exam." ~madeleine
* I'm going to
gouge her good eye out with my nails. ~maggie about robbie
* I'm gonna kick her ass. ~vt about eileen
* Juries are
made up of people too stupid to get out of jury duty. ~vt
* I'm committing suicide by the end of the week, so don't worry.
You think I kid you, but I kid you not. ~helms
* "Tines, you look like Chiclet when she wakes up in the morning."
~helms "Yeah, that's a compliment. You look like my dog." ~lindsay "Lindsay smells like Chiclet!" ~helms
"Colleen has no friends!" ~lindsay
* I feel like Snow White today, with all my little dwarves around me...Sleepy,
Grumpy...all in slow motion today. ~robbie
* No! Don't apply to Loyola! They don't want your kind! ~tina to doc
*
I hear a little noise in my computer like a man jumping off a bridge. ~broch
* Photographic memory...that's what I want.
I'm going to ask for that for Christmas. ~erica
* Do you have a Certs because my breath smells like rotten waffles. ~aja
* Advil has the best coating. ~tines
* I get the horrible feeling that Mr Taylor was trying to teach today. ~maggie
* Mr Man better stop playing bumper cars and get off my butt. ~kt to self while driving
* Another gay propoganda thing?
Come here, Tinky Winky, bend over. ~briege
* Ewww, take your mass orgy elsewhere. ~kt about Teletubbies
* I hate the
flash backs and how they talk to themselves more than I do. It's just wrong. ~kt about soap operas
* Sounds like you're
passing something. ~briege
* My roommate has a Brita thing. It's the only thing we really share. ~ang
* Just ignore
the 'whirring' sound in my pants. ~kt
* He lives in West Chester. He must be an idiot. ~broch about smithers
* I smell
all incensy now because I can smell myself. ~becky
* This water tastes tappy. ~kt
* Ooo, you're giving us sharp impliments.
~becky to waitress
* Everything gives everyone cancer so stop living now. ~kt
* Whatever bloats your goat. ~ang
*
She doesn't need a man, she's got a banana. ~broch about percy
* I wonder if anyone named Patrick has ever called themself
Rick. ~broch
* I'm a flab-grabbing maniac. ~broch
* I'd hate to go to a place where the lines for the bathroom are
really long. ~kt
* It's like Doogie Howser, without the 's' and the 'Doogie.' ~broch
* Besides, if I'm going to blow
up this millenium, I'd rather blow up among friends. ~becky
* You giggle like a schoolgirl when your flab is grabbed.
~becky
This is from my second Quotebook started New Year's Day 2000. And yes, I am fully aware that I am a loser. I revel in my
loseriness.
* I didn't tie my drawstring and my pants are falling down. ~Broch
* "With a name like Dickie..." ~Becky
"...it has to be good." ~briege
* It's what we call a 'kickass movie.' Both literally and figuratively.
~maggie
* Katie, stop fondling the pieces with your feet. ~broch
* Becky, can you help me with this
zipper? ~broch
* I don't actually like fish, I like the word 'fish.' ~maggie
* When dogs die, the movie
becomes crappy. ~maggie
* I need my porno magazines again. ~briege
* Why are there always random Indians
banging things? ~broch
* Cows are used to being violated. ~briege
* What's your excuse? Were you picking
clementines? ~smithers to becky about being late to class
* Christine's petting Mary and it's creeping me out.
~Amanda
* I'd rather be beaten over the head with a bat than get a 70-something. ~amanda
* My mind is
a steel trap. ~mary
* Did you get a new pen? I hate you. ~helms
* "Why were you doing that?"
~becky "A little randomness." ~vt
* "Who do you think should be the leaders of the world?"
~becky "Me, since you're asking." ~vt
* We're gonna be the sharpest tacks. ~mary
* Don't
steal my weight loss plan as a study plan. ~becky
* Pass is such a universal word: you can pass a car, you can
pass a test, you can pass a gallstone. ~broch
* Katie, you break wind, (points to maggie) she wears windbreakers.
~broch
* How 'bout we all run out of the room and see if he can catch us. ~lindsay about hayburn
* Is
he still talking? ~lindsay about hayburn
* Katie, if you pick up the calculator and throw it across the room and
knock him out, I'll cover for you. ~lindsay about hayburn
* Does anybody listen to me when I talk? ~lindsay
* I heard the worst news last night...Eric Lindros has a girlfriend and it's not me. ~tina
* Well, if you're
really nice, I'll put a splint on you. ~becky to Mr K
* Hey! Put away the crack before the crack puts you away!
~vt
* I wonder if I wrote 'go to hell' if she'd fail me. ~maggie
* I swear we're all gonna die because
this is the beginning of the end. Don't even bother studying for exams, guys. ~corinne
* My hook-in-the-front
bra is having separation issues. ~broch
* Whenever you're sad, remember: Briege likes her nuts wet. ~broch
* You think if I get hit by a bus they'd make me take exams? ~tina
* Why wasn't I born with Mary's brainpower?
~tina
* He wasn't what I'd call 'jumpable material.' ~briege
* I'm never afraid for my life. I'm the
baddest guy that ever walked the earth. ~vt
* Have you been drinking? ~vt to becky
* Note to self: if
it burns, do not eat. ~kt
* ...our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with others. Our relationship
with ourselves? Sounds a bit schitzophrenic. ~mrs powers
* "I read it and nobody liked it." ~becky about
her story "You're a failure to society." ~helms
* Let's have a crying party at my house tonight. ~tines
* Did I write a love note on your paper? ~robbie
* Listen, we may not know anything for the AP test, but boy,
do we know a lot about nutrition. ~robbie about becky's lunches during AP
* Can you not bite a chunk out of my
head?! ~aja
* I'll be cracking jokes after the game tomorrow, so come to it. ~mary
* Mr Taylor, you're
on drugs. ~helms
* Removing the fat from the beef stock is a good thing. ~martha stewart
* I'm all flustered
now. ~vt
* Don't let Mr Taylor think he's right cuz he's WRONG. ~eileen
* My name is Tina. People love
me. ~tina
* Are we having a joint party? ~broch
* I love getting men's sweaters. ~broch
*
Don't look at the shiny things, look at the pantyhose. ~briege to kt
* Bony butt, bony butt...now I know what a
toilet feels like. ~broch when kt sat on her
* Can we all entertain the idea of personal space? ~briege
* If you give me $5, I'll smile. ~ang
* Why is your bag still on? Are you a psycho and in love with in? ~kt
to ang
* I'm going home because I'm a lazy shit. ~maggie
* Let's disrobe. ~robbie
* "Is
that Eric Lindros? He's cute." ~dubes "He's a goddess and a half." ~tina
* All the people who
like to get high on white-out like those pens (smeel Expo markers). ~mary
* Do you think everybody should hook
up with some kind of psychiatrist? ~liz
* Assume a comfortable position. ~mrs powers
* "What would
you do if a bullet came out of my finger?" ~kt "I would die." ~broch
* Wanna touch my rosin? ~broch
* Mary, you were so cute. What happened to you? ~helms
* Becky's having her first dump. ~broch
*
Don't eat the soup! Tell people don't eat the soup unless you hate them. ~broch
* I'm so glad I'm a woman this
time. ~krop
* In the words of the immortal dog: 'Chow chow.' ~maggie
* Listen, crustball. ~corinne
* I was the top student for so damn long it wasn't funny. 30 years at Sacred Heart, that's what it got me. ~mrs powers
* "My noodle is not limp." ~briege "That would be bad if we were guys." ~broch
* Let's
all jump in...to the swimming pool of economy. ~broch
* I'm going for young. I'm going for conservative. ~vt about
new haircut
* You look like a male gigolo. ~helms to vt
* It's craptastic! ~mary
* Don't cause
controversy in the hallway. ~vt
* I hope that when I'm that old, I can still run around and drive people crazy.
~mrs mancini about mrs mcmahon
* I may be Pro-Life but I can still kick your ass. ~madeleine
* No licking
in D21. ~vt
* I'm going out to shovel snow. Where's my gun? ~mrs powers
* I have a superhuman bladder.
~broch
* Is that just me or is your hand in my sock? ~becky
* This semester I'm taking notes so oh yeah!
Maggie, you're goin' down! ~mary
* Don't step on it. Your feet are wet. ~mrs powers to herself
* I love
major assignments. They give me such a rush. ~broch
* Why don't you drop out now and go to Gordon Phillips? ~smithers
to aja
* Are you okay? Are you losing your mind? ~vt to broch
* I have to pee the Nile River. ~tines
* Can we express our feelings? ~broch
* Pretend it's storytime at the isomer factory. ~mrs mancini
*
I think I look smart. ~helms
* Everybody loves Mary. Who loves Tina? Nobody loves Tina. ~tina
* The first
day my son pumped gas he made more money than I do teaching. ~mrs powers
* Laura's door is swinging both ways. ~dubes
about broch
* If you let me teach, I would smile all day. ~vt
* But Mr Taylor, you always teach. It's
so annoying. ~eileen
* I'm going with the eccentric look. ~vt
* Wake up and smell the Calculus. ~tina
to mary
* I did not sleep. I was studying my math book up close. ~tina to hayburn about sleeping in class
* I think the Freshmen in general have odd odors. ~broch
* Keep your clothes on. ~hayburn to dubes
*
I have an urge to throw my hair around. ~dubes
* Double Calculus is like eating a light bulb. ~tina
*
Becky, just relax. Do you want to get a soda or something? Want saltines? ~smithers
* I really want someone else
to see the moon so I know I'm not crazy! ~smithers
* ...or if you just want to close your eyes and look for the
green moon, go ahead. ~smithers
* Throw yourself down the stairs, don't shoot yourself. ~lindsay to helms
*
I'm not cute enough to get out of a ticket. ~mr K about speeding tickets
* Watch it, Christine, watch it...what did
you say? ~smithers
* I'll always remember this class because of Becky eating her orange as everyone works quietly.
~smithers
* Why are you looking at me? Stop looking at me! All of you! ~smithers
* Stop listening to me.
Well, I'll stop talking. ~smithers
* I'm having a real problem with speech today. ~vt
* Can I chew on a
stick? ~broch
* I'm so pissy. Where's my drink? ~anne
* All teachers are satanic. ~madeleine
*
Wasn't this the class where we had a free class because you were a man and wouldn't ask for help with that? ~amanda to smithers
about hooking the camera to the tv
* I hope he falls down a manhole. ~helms about hayburn
* I'm very tired
and delirious, don't worry about it. ~vt
* You know what I need? A cheese steak and then my life would be a happy
place. ~dubes
* It smells like old people in here. ~tines
* If you bring in Robert Redford, I'll do a scene.
~robbie about performing in the Talent Show
* Mandi, next time you get an attitude, I'm going to stick a lollipop
in your eye. ~aja
* Welcome to Filmschwitz. ~dubes and tines
* I hope you break your nose and your ear falls
off. ~helms
* Nobody bakes a cake as tasty as a Tastycake. ~vt
* "Let's get out our spears and raw
meat and go man hunting!" ~broch "YEA!" ~vt
* I must know everything about my mortal enemy before
I destroy her. ~broch about Martha Stewart
* Does anyone have drugs? ~broch
* I'm stroking you with my lollipop
bouquet. ~broch to kt
* My hands smell funny...smell my hand. ~broch
* "Can I go to the bathroom real
quick?" ~amanda "Sure, will it help you think?" ~smithers
* You know what else I've realized about
the dentist? It's not the drill that's the worst, it's the constant Rod Stewart and Michael Bolton. ~dubes
* He
like threw daggers at me with his eyes. ~dubes
* Sometimes I get bizarre urges to chew my hair. ~tina
*
Do I remind you of Jennifer Aniston? ~dubes to hayburn
* Mr Hayburn, when a girl has to go to the bathroom, you have
to let her go. ~katie ganley
* "I'm feelin' a D." ~dubes "I'm feelin' an F." ~tina "I'm
smellin' an F." ~lindsay in calc
* So Kate, how did the Playboy spread go? ~tina in calc
* "Mr
Taylor, do you want to be the coolest guy in the world?" ~erin "Well, I already am, but what?" ~vt
*
Have you been smoking the funny weed? ~mom to dad
* She's got a bug up her figurative butt. ~briege
* Mrs
Mitsler does not appreciate anyone putting soap in her whistle. ~senora reading morning announcements
* Let's harness
some energy. ~broch
* Unlike Mr Keaveney, he can actually feed himself and save up. ~broch about vt
* You
could go to a boys' school and raffle off a date with me. ~tina
* I want rapid growth and I want to be a winner.
~broch
* Miss Fitzgerald, are you boycotting my class? You're doing a sitdown strike against me. My feelings are
hurt. ~robbie
* You don't smell today. ~robbie to becky
* I always inspect the quality of my cotton balls.
~briege
* Briege, it's table rules. You don't touch the earlobes. ~broch
* James Dean is not a rabbit,
but he hops like one. ~ang
* "Hayburn has a pole up his butt." ~kt "A rusty one at that." ~briege
* Sorry, it's Monday. My perverted mind is on overdrive. ~kt
* I've been called a lot of things in my time here
but no a 'Freak of Nature.' ~vt to broch
* "Smithers, do you think we're funny?" ~aja "I think you
put too much into it." ~smithers "Smithers! Why don't you just cut off our heads and feed them to the coyotes?!"
~aja
* Let's romp through the hallways. ~tines
* I'll know it's time to retire when my class says 'Robert
who?' ~robbie about Redford
* We must destroy all men...I mean... ~broch
* "Guys, an announcement.
Every study is now filled with mandatory exercise." ~tina "If you want to look good on the beach this summer, you
will participate!" ~lindsay
* "Slit my wrists now." ~dubes "If only I could." ~hayburn
* God Becky's beautiful! Did I say that out loud? ~tina
* I'm wearing sneakers too, Mr Hayburn! We're sneaker
buddies! ~tina
* Ok, you might as well just turn around and start talking Japanese to me because I don't understand
it. ~tina to hayburn in calc
* Bodily perfection. Who's got it? A couple supermodels and they probably have eating
disorders. ~mrs powers
* Where can we find little boys? ~smithers
* Everyone's sick. It's pissing me off.
~anne
* I woke up this morning and I was like 'I'm taking a vow of undrunkenness.' ~corinne
* I've been
getting non-stop wedgies. ~broch
* I'd rather have a baby than go to the dentist. ~mrs powers
* One quick
comment, one quick comment, wait, I forgot the comment... ~vt
* "Old people do it too." ~robbie "Oh,
ewww, don't ever say that again." ~mary
* Persia's the only one who's comfortable with her breath. She says
it's fresh. ~smithers
* My sister turned into a demon and I turned into a slut. ~mrs powers
* Can you turn
the heat on because black people can't live in here. ~aja about D21's coldness
* "You should write a book."
~liz "Ah, yes. 'Idiots I Have Known.'" ~mrs powers
* "We wanna see Tina's snotball." ~aja
"Here, I'll show you." ~smithers "Ewww!" ~all "Why do you want to see snot?!" ~smithers
* Becky, move to Russia. You look Russian. Change your name to Natasha. ~broch
* Just like when you eat, you
need income and outcome. ~kt
* Leave the tie, lose the shirt. ~broch to vt
* We're like democracy: we manipulate
the simple-minded. ~kt about us manipulating vt
* What's that smile? It's like 'hehehe, I'm going to kill you all.'
~broch to vt
* She has really bad cramps. If you wig out at her, she'll probably throw a tampon at you or something.
~anne to vt about madeleine being late
* "Hold on, I have to get my pants off before class starts." ~tina
"Tina, you've got something brown on your nose, wipe it off." ~helms
* Your mother? You bite your mother?
Can I call you Oedipus? ~kt
* "What do you want from me?" ~tina "Isn't it obvious?" ~hayburn
* We're not gonna dance really. We're just gonna jiggle to the music. ~becky
* I could be asleep in the corner
and everyone else could be Romper Room and I would get yelled at for sleeping and everyone else is fine. ~tina in calc
* "Mrs Robinson, I had a nightmare about you." ~broch "I do that to people." ~robbie
* "I
don't even know what anarchy is." ~kt "Me neither. It sounds like some kind of spider." ~broch
*
Can you just trip or something? We need something to laugh about. ~anne to hayburn
* I feel that I might blow chunks.
~broch
* I'm so impressed that I had that same vocabulary word as Maggie. ~mrs mancini
* We need to get
some guys. ~smithers
* "I heard you and Amanda went skipping down the hall today." ~mary "That is
going beyond the call of duty." ~lindsay to hayburn
* What's happening? They're dropping like flies! Did you
give them some of your lunch? ~robbie to becky about people being absent
* It's like pitting Colleen Helms against
me on a basketball court the day after I get my nails done. ~robbie
* I'm not the cream in your Oreo cookie. ~kt
* "Be careful, they're hot." ~theater worker "That's what people say about me." ~broch
*
No use being Irish if you can't be stupid, my mother said. ~mrs powers
* That's not what I was implying. Now you're
disturbing me. ~smithers to dubes
* If I made a list of the things I've found on the floor of this room, it's a wonder
I don't have typhoid fever. ~robbie
* "I feel very privileged." ~mancini "So do I." ~broch
"I feel that I'm sitting next to two suck-ups." ~mary
* I'm changing into a sheep...I'm converting. ~broch
* Someone's gotta dress me. ~hayburn
* Would you two stop drawing your porn in the corner? ~tina to broch and
becky
* "It's like a sauna in here." ~dubes "I like it hot." ~tines "Thank you...anyway..."
~hayburn
* I have visions. ~smithers
* I have an amazing urge to bite my eraser. ~broch
* He should
take off his pants so I can iron them. ~broch about hayburn
* My prediction: hiphop artists will start wearing toothbrushes
behind their ears. Remember, you heard it here first. Another prediction: hiphop artists will start wearing small fake birds
on their shoulders. ~smithers
* If you wanna grope me, expect the backlash. ~kt to broch
* "Don't get
your panties in a bunch." ~dubes "I want to go home." ~smithers
* If I come down in the morning feeling
sick, my mom's like 'Morning sickness? You better not be pregnant!' Thanks, so I'm the town prostitute now? ~dubes
*
"Your boos aren't big enough." ~madeleine "Neither are yours." ~helms "I like them perky."
~madeleine
* That Pope's a spandex person. ~helms
* "Would you get your hand out of your shirt?"
~anne "I'm feeling my fat." ~eileen
* "Let's start a women revolution. Let's stop wearing bras."
~anne "Burn the bras!" ~tines
* You look like Jesus with your beard. ~mancini to mr K
* What
have you been smoking and I'm not really joking. ~briege
* My worst enemy, other than Martha Stewart, is country
music! ~broch
* "Are you our teacher today?" ~becky "Yes, I am." ~ms Haskins "Ooo! How
exciting! Something new and different!" ~maggie
* Why does the ceiling look like diarrhea? ~madeleine in D24
* "Yeah, Madonna's pregnant." ~mrs powers "With who?" ~aja "I dunno, probably the first guy
that walked through the living room." ~mrs powers
* You want a pretzel from the pretzel pocket? ~smithers taking
a pretzel out of his pocket
* Anne, stop touching yourself. ~hayburn
* Anne, keep your clothes on and knock
it off. ~hayburn
* Hooking up is not holy. ~chastity talk
* I'm a mother so I have a lisence to be corny.
~chastity talk
* "Are you going to be a teacher?" ~dubes "No, I don't like teaching people. I don't
like kids." ~other hayburn "Thanks." ~dubes
* I sit in a classroom and watch girls make strange animal
noises all weekend. ~other hayburn
* I desperately wanna make love to a schoolboy. ~tines
* Remember when
Mr Hayburn and I streaked naked down the hallway? ~dubes
APPALACHIA QUOTES START HERE
* "I've never
seen this group of girls act so perverted." ~broch about Mannion and Co. "First you call me evil and now I'm perverted."
~mannion
* I feel like I just got out of Religion class...Mrs Powers' Religion class! ~broch after sleeping in Mr
K's van
* "I've actually gone to church every Sunday before play practice." ~broch "Katie, aren't
you proud of our little heathen?" ~maggie
* That's not harassing, it's caressing. ~broch to jacqui
*
Let's play a game called 'Personal Space.' ~broch
* "If you violate someone else's personal space, your personal
space will be violated." ~ellie "And you WILL be violated!" ~broch
* Let's open up a can of whoop-ass
on Ellie. ~broch
* You're all sinners. I'm worth waiting for. ~helms
* "Senora, you just broke wind
in my face!" ~dubes "Not yet, Kate!" ~senora
* "Christine, why do you do what Kate tells you?"
~senora "Cuz it's funny." ~tines
* How did Richard Simmons get in here? ~dubes
* I'm like a polar
bear; I'm insulated. ~kt
* In the words of Han Solo: 'What an incredible smell we've discovered.' ~ellie
*
The thing I hate about pullovers is that you have to pull them over. ~broch
* This will be known as the 'straw incident'
and we will never speak of it again. ~broch
* Yours just sit there and say 'Hi, I'm an ear.' ~broch about maggie's
ears
* I'm a camel-slash-garbage disposal. ~ellie
* I'm disappointed that you would defile your own van.
~mr k
* Oh! We can do pole dancing! ~broch
* "The world is not right; my bookmark is lost!" ~maggie
"It's right there." ~kt "Oh. Continue with your mass orgy." ~maggie
* I was just attacked
by the ceramic cat by the door. ~mr McG
* "It's romance music." ~senora "Let's make out!" ~tines
* Bad smells don't please me, I gotta say. ~mary
* I go to wash my hands one time and my bed is forfeited
to another. ~maggie
* "My butt is so sexy, I don't know what to do with it." ~broch "Why don't you
keep us updated on that." ~maggie
* Your level of skank cannot be measure on the skank-o-meter. ~maggie
* I'm sick of promenading like a horse. Do I look like a freakin' filly to you? ~kt during square dancing
*
I just realized that I bought the soap of the guy who killed Obi-Wan. ~ellie about Vader body wash
* If it wasn't
illegal, I would've choked her. ~senora
* "Are we going the wrong way?" ~mary "yup!" ~people
"Just making sure." ~mary
* Wow, Laura, you're hair's really soft and maliable. ~kt
* I want
whole fat or none at all. ~mary about oreos
* Why is everyone grabbing me today? ~lindsay
* I want to trade
my brother in for a McG. ~broch
* Spank burger with cheese. ~broch
* I'm so interested in how your butt's
doing today. ~ellie to broch
* I have a disease where I can't listen to music I don't like. ~helms
* I should've
had someone grab my ass with black paint. ~broch
* I forgot to put my slip on... ~Pricey Deal to broch
*
I was like "Keaves" and then he spit on me. ~dubes
* Gun it! ~mary to mr K right before the van gets stuck
in a ditch
* I volunteer to help save the world by not smelling. ~ellie
* ...Sacred Heart "Cross-the-Line"
Academy. ~eileen
* ...you're a group of manly girls. ~Devon McG
* I wish my last name sounded like crotch.
~kt to broch
* The rolls saved my eyes. ~broch about Pricey incident
* 'What would you do for a Klondike
bar?' Well, we know what Erin would do. ~broch
* That's the universal language: the moan. ~broch
* Thank
you for this food we're supposed to eat...I mean, that we WILL eat. ~mr K praying before dinner
* "What's the
world's fattest animal?" ~annie "Me!" ~kt
* For sanitary reasons, I will not sit next to a hamburger.
~mannion
* At least with country music, when they're done, they end the song. ~mr K about how Nsync's songs go on
forever
* Ooo! A sign for West Chester! My heart is full! ~broch going home from Appalachia
* In case there
is a decrease in air pressure, pints of Guiness will drop from the ceiling. ~Gaelic Storm
* "Lindsay, you look
really thin." ~eileen "Thanks. These flipflops do wonders for your legs." ~lindsay
* I would watch
Kevin Spacey read the phone book. ~mrs powers
* "When is this class over?" ~doc "A quarter past never."
~mannion
* I wish I was a pop singing sensation. But no, no room for Dubes. ~dubes
* "It'll involve
fire." ~smithers "Cool, we get to burn them?" ~erin "I dunno. I'd like to!" ~smithers
*
I'd like to work there. But I'm too pasty. It's not good business if the person working there is pale. ~tines about Hollywood
Tans
* "You didn't get in (to Georgetown)?" ~vt "No. Oh well." ~mary "Damn Jesuits."
~vt
* I'm in the mood for a pansy. ~broch
* Let's go check the physics of a bridge by jumping off it. ~broch
* I'm giving myself a pep talk. ~anne
* I hear 'devil' whenever anyone speaks. Devil, devil, devil... ~smithers
* I loved the mental picture of beating a dead horse into the ground. ~mrs powers
* Just call me 'Tickle Me
Kate.' ~dubes
* I just want to stay suspended in time, but not in this class. ~broch in calc
* [Tines coughing]
"No Kate! You're supposed to stand there and watch!" ~helms "When breathing stops, then start the Heimlich
Maneuver." ~lindsay "Mr Hayburn! Call 911 and then report back to me!" ~tina
* Remind me never to
eat again. ~dubes
* Let's say I go give blood and then try to drive. Is that a bad idea? ~mary
* "What's
the tipoff for you being a lesbian?" ~mrs powers "Female mud wrestling." ~beth "Beef jerky." ~corinne
* I love the squeal of a schoolboy. ~broch
* I'm always getting my son's messages. 'Hey deadbeat, pay your
bills!' Oh my, this isn't for me. ~mrs powers
* I failed Morality. ~helms
* I like them the way they are,
as bones. ~helms about dinosaurs
* If you rat me out, you'll be on Kate's shit list. ~dubes
* Does anyone
else just wanna touch this picture over and over? ~tina about A&F picture
* Ladies, cut out the shuttlecock talk.
~hayburn
* I think Mr Hayburn needs a hug! ~dubes
* Grab me after class. ~hayburn to tina
* "She
[Tina] has a worm!" ~all "So does my dog, I don't really care." ~hayburn
* Stab my own eye out! ~mary
about PowerPoint
* It has to be pre-approved and, Anne, it has to be clean. ~vt about PowerPoint
* Whoever
lifts up someone's kilt who doesn't have shorts on is not cool. ~dubes
* 'Scuse me! Beauty coming through! Beep beep!
~tina
* I'll be a man because I have a manly voice. ~dubes
* "Everybody's butts are in my face today."
~aja "Maybe it's your face...in their butts." ~smithers
* You could run around naked too, but we wouldn't
want that. ~tines to hayburn
* The AP people seem very dry and dull...they like their 'Hamlet' and they like it tough.
~mary
* The pot's getting to your head, JH. ~tines
* Do you guys remember your first poop? ~tina
*
You two would make a good couple. ~tines to hayburn and tina
* Mr Hayburn, will you go to the prom with me if I don't
find another date? ~tina
* "I don't take notes. I remember better than I write." ~becky "That's the
worst excuse I've ever heard." ~dubes
* I should work for an insurance agency and hack into the FBI. ~broch
* I wanna have an illegal profession. ~broch
* "I got a 91 too!" ~liz "What? Mrs Powers! You're
handing them out like candy!" ~amanda
* "I'm never joining a cult." ~madeleine "Not me, I'm already
in one." ~mary "What's it called? Roman Catholicism?" ~vt
* Big Brother's here, I'm telling ya! Big
Brother's here! ~vt
* Mrs Mitsler's like the strongest straight woman alive. ~someone in gym
* I hate this.
Ask him to pet your shoelaces. ~tina to kt about hayburn
* "Maybe you just need somebody to hold onto ya real
tight..." ~tines to hayburn "...for 5 minutes." ~dubes
* "Would ya like a hug?" ~dubes
"Everyone needs to be touched." ~tines to hayburn
* "What's so bad about your license picture that
you won't show it to us?" ~tina to hayburn "He's like dressed in drag...long blond hair..." ~dubes
*
It's got hat warm child smell. ~tines about S21
* Would you care if I shot myself? ~broch to hayburn
* "Mr
Taylor, would you shoot me? ~broch "I'll be back in 5 minutes." ~vt
* Ladies, if I walk over there and
I see sticks...leave the sticks alone. ~hayburn
* I have a diet coke. The world is okay. ~tina
* "Mr
Taylor, streak through naked next period." ~dubes "Okay." ~vt
* "It's either a hug or a piece
of a brownie." ~dubes "I'll give you a hug." ~hayburn "No! I don't want a hug!" ~dubes
*
You plug it in, crank it out, bing bang boom, we're done, next chapter. ~tina in calc
* "I want to be famous."
~nasuti "Well, you know, if you were murdered, you'd be famous." ~kt
* I don't think Brochet hates me as
much because she groped me. ~nasuti
* Mr Taylor, what would you do if you took the dump of a lifetime in one of these
bathrooms and then all the lady teachers were waiting and had a gathering in the bathroom? Would you run away? Or say 'do
NOT go in there.'? ~aja
* And wear anti-perspirant because you can't sweat while you're there. ~tines to vt going
to an interview
* You act like you're 40 when you're, like, 12. ~aja to vt
* A wrist is much different than
a breast. ~briege
* "Here, have a shuttlecock." ~ellie "I don't want a damn shuttlecock!" ~briege
* Food tastes so much better when you steal it from someone else. ~kt
* "What color are you?" ~amanda
"Oh, I'll be violet." ~smithers
* Shuttlecocks are not meant to be eaten. ~katie ganley
* Sure,
you let her put it on you but if I tried that, you'd dislocate my arm! ~dubes to hayburn about amanda putting a sticker on
him
* Mr Hayburn, you have five minutes left to teach us. After that, we'll act out. ~tines
* She's right!
Give that girl a salami! ~robbie about doc
* "Mr Hayburn, do you want me to send you a hoppagram?" ~tines
"Well, no..." ~hayburn "Well...SIKE! I wasn't gonna send you one anyway!" ~tines
* Broch, ya
took my desk. I was standing here and suddenly, I had no desk. ~mary
* Christine, don't be plottin' over there. ~vt
* "What does the law of supply say?" ~vt "Sex is good." ~madeleine
* "Mary, you
just wanna touch my butt." ~madeleine "That's right. That's why I do everything." ~mary
* I look pretty
without makeup and you look like a whore. ~kt to briege
* I don't need lipliner. I'm a man, not a whore. ~kt
*
If I don't graduate, someone will be murdered and it's won't be me. ~broch in calc
* "Is it ring worm that makes
you lose weight?" ~liz "No, it's tapeworm and I am so trying to contract it." ~tina
* I feel like arse
in a bucket. ~aja
* If you would like a refund, if it is in unmolested condition, if it is a pure virgin, bring it
in. ~robbie about 'House of Spirits'
* "Retts, you're so skinny, it makes me sick." ~aja "You're such
a lard!" ~retts
* Mr Hayburn? Can you Vogue for us now? ~dubes
* "That's gonna be a big Hayburn blur."
~broch about pic of Hayburn "That's every girl's fantasy." ~tina
* "Do we have anymore concerns about
this?" ~hayburn "Uh, yeah, I failed." ~tines "I failed." ~broch "Um...I...um...failed."
~dubes
* "It's Earth Day!" ~tines "We have Earth Day, you tool!" ~dubes "Oh, hell with Earth
Day!" ~hayburn
* "Whoever finishes it first, gets an A." ~broch "Well, that's ONE way to get an
A." ~kt
* Somebody tell me...is there anything better than a Reese's? No...it's heaven in foil. ~dubes
*
There's like 6 kids hanging off me...they don't even like me, they just use me for a free ride. I'm like their Amtrak. ~tina
* That's a great idea. Rule #1 for having foster kids: slap them. ~mrs powers
* There's some guys you just wanna
marry and then there's some guys you just wanna molest. ~broch
* You're a pain in my bass. ~briege
* That was
a fun shopping strip. ~kt
* Don't taunt my eyes. ~briege to broch
* If anyone is doing anything fun right now,
it's probably illegal. ~briege
*I'm having the random urge right now to jump in a barrel of grapes and squash them.
~broch
* "I'm a professional baseball player. How 'bout you?" ~kt "I'm...an accountant." ~briege
* I call that excuse! Nobody can say they forgot their disk! ~tines about PowerPoint
* Col! You're not allowed
to be part of our class if you don't eat cake! ~mary to doc
* "Do people worry about you, Smithers?" ~amanda
"No." ~smithers
* Kate, the paper you put on my shoe is still there, hanging on. If that doesn't brighten
your day, I don't know what will. ~smithers to dubes
* ...Cecily-freakin'-dumbass-Tynan. ~eileen
* "Mary's
a fake slacker!" ~helms "I am not a fake slacker! I am a real slacker!" ~mary
* I'm sweating profusely...nobody
cares. ~tines
* I want to move to the woods and become a nudist. ~broch
* Mr Hayburn, my concentration is waning.
I think it would be a good break time. ~tina
* "Stop abusing things." ~tines "Oh shut up!" ~hayburn
* "Do you ever get the urge to boogie during class?" ~dubes "Do you ever want to run down the hallway
naked?" ~tines
* When you come here, do you sign a contract that you can't hit a student or is that implied? ~tina
to hayburn
* God I hate this school! ~hayburn
* "It smells like Newports." ~dubes "I wonder
why..DUBES!" ~tina
* I'm gonna go catch a Newport. ~dubes
* Can you major in monkism? ~broch
* I'm
not trying to be a beast, but I'm really confused. What are you doing? ~tina to hayburn
* Mr Hayburn, I think I'm
having an allergic reaction to the glitter. May I go remove it from my face? ~tina
* My face is on fire. ~tina
*
Mr Hayburn, do you want a kiss? ~dubes with a Hershey Kiss
* "Mr Hayburn, will you go to the prom with me?"
~tines "Will you wear a Belgian skirt?" ~anne
* "Are you on drugs? Because I can't have a prom date
who's on drugs." ~tines "You better start looking then." ~hayburn
* It really hurts me that she won't
knit me a bootie. ~tina about Koob
* Can you turn down the salutatorian speech? Because I'm sure I got it... ~dubes
* We're prankin' it up, Cogs! ~dubes
* I can't wait for the summer when I can just egg the school. ~corinne
* "Sister is crazy with..." ~cogs "She's just plain crazy, stop there." ~corinne
* Where
is my notebook? I can't function without my notebook. ~tines
* Dubes must've failed kindergarten twelve times. ~tina
* Remember my purse? Have you seen my purse? ~smithers
* This is such a complaining atmopshere. ~dubes
*
I sleep through everything but I wake up to the sounds of farts rebounding off the toilet bowl. ~dubes
* They give
you the glares of a lifetime in the hall. They trip you secretly... ~dubes about the Beattys
* We're gonna be suspicious
of everyone outside of school. 'What do you want? Why are you being nice to me?' ~lindsay
* I hate these computers!
They suck! They blow out the ass! ~tines
* "What would you do if this hit me in my eye?" ~tines with slinky
"I would laugh." ~dubes "If it hurt a little, I would still laugh." ~tina "If your eye was pussing,
I would try to contain my laughter." ~dubes
* "Everyone I tell that I'm taking political science asks if
I'm going to take over the world and I'm like 'Yeeessss.'" ~mary "I'm going to so I can give every woman ten male
slaves." ~anne
* "I really think we should hire those hot guys...pornstars, but not really pornstars..."
~anne "You mean strippers?" ~mary
* "Why did she sign up for a team?" ~kt about jacqui "Because
she's under delusions of grandeur." ~maggie
* I don't mean to crush people. It just happens. ~maggie
*
"I only have two quotes in there." ~erin "Well, I never see you and besides, everything you say is pornographic."
~kt
* Mr Hayburn, I have problems. I have issues. ~dubes
* She's spitting crusty balls at me. ~dubes about
lindsay
* My lung is like coming up my throat. ~tina
* I've decided I'm going to starve myself before the prom.
~helms
* Katie, I want you exiled. ~helms to kt
* I hate my family. God I wish this [water] was vodka. ~cara
* I wanna see the Indigo Girls play but there's gonna be some husky dykes there. ~dubes
* "I have x-ray
vision. Boxers or briefs?" ~anne to hayburn "Your underwear's hanging out." ~tines "They're, like,
Powerbar." ~anne
* "Mr Hayburn, are you gonna miss us next year?" ~tines "Don't get his panties
in a bunch." ~dubes "No...sorry." ~hayburn
* "Shush, no talking. Calculus is gonna be a funeral
from now on." ~dubes "Just because you can't accept us because we're not the other class...because we're not a
size 1." ~tina to hayburn
* I like watching the credits! Okay? Do you mind?! ~krop
* The Raisinettes are
going to eat me!" ~krop
* Is that all I am to you? A beverage provider? ~ellie to briege
* Let's go in
the maze and get all lost and make Katie look like a dumb butt. ~kt at fair
* When I grow up, I want to blow up a planet.
~briege as Baby Tarkin
* It's like Emporer Palpatine's fun time. It's an evil thing...I felt like Obi-Wan among a
bunch of Sith. Get away from me, you Sith. It's like the Jedi Trials. This is Darth Sidious' creation to tempt us to the
Dark Side. ~ellie about Ali Baba ride
* I'm running out of 'evil' synonyms. ~ellie
* I have a great urge to
whip out my lightsaber right now. ~briege
* Becky's going boy shopping for her prom date. ~beth hughes
* "Your
new name is JugJug. Don't ask me why." ~mary "Why?" ~kt "I said don't ask me why, Katie!" ~mary
* "We made a pact in Appalachia." ~eileen "No new friends in college." ~tines
* "We
can't meet new guys?" ~helms "Do you think they want to meet you?" ~eileen
* You guys go away all the
time. I wanna marry your husband. ~eileen to robbie
* Looks like you took a bath with your paper, Miss Brochet. ~robbie
* Rebuttals has 'butt' in it. ~kt
* Gosh, you nerd, you've resorted to college pens now? You're low. ~broch
to maggie about her college pens
* I'm pregnant with seven babies. How 'bout you? Let's compete. ~broch to kt
*
"...we got fingerprinted in Girl Scouts." ~broch "Yeah, 'Girl Scouts.'" ~kt "Aka, the county jail!"
~maggie
* I do not use my mother for evil, only good. ~maggie
* "Can you do a split?" ~kt to becky
"Rico Brogna can!" ~broch
* Clearly this has nothing to do with the price of bananas. ~mrs powers to herself
* "She said we [12B] could go over after you [12A] guys leave." ~amanda "I told her I don't need her
pity." ~dubes about robbie's luncheon
* "Can we just have a fun day?" ~amanda "The fun day is
in the future." ~mrs powers "There is no future! This is the end!" ~broch
* The chances of being used
as torches at lawn parties or being throw to the lions were now remote..." ~mrs powers on people becoming religious after
Christianity become legal
* Are you caressing her legs and not mine? ~becky to broch
* I'll have some turkey
breasts with a side of Ewan. ~broch
* When I'm talkin' to her, I don't know which eye to stare at. ~broch about robbie
* I don't want to push her buttons. ~broch about robbie
* "I love the part where Brendan Fraser breaks
his leg." ~broch about 'With Honors' "I love the part where I break your leg." ~maggie
* I need to
get a concussion before Thursday. I hate Field Day. ~amanda
* I hate public chapstick application. ~smithers
*
All these girls and their lipstick, lotion... ~smithers
* Becky! You look so cute...like a little triceratops or something.
~madeleine to koob about kt's hair-do for her
* "It's a good date movie." ~vt "And you know this from
experience?" ~broch "Maybe it's not and that's my problem." ~vt about 'With Honors'
* "Chaps is
a loser!" ~helms "I never said I wasn't." ~annie
* I know my butt's getting too big when I get incessant
wedgies. ~broch
* Anne's the porn star of the class. ~eileen
* I don't want to have to get up at 6:30 in the
morning, so can you tell me when Senior cut day is? ~robbie
* Read all my love notes! ~robbie
* "Katie
Whoriske gets the revenge award...Laura Brochet gets the award for going to her locker the most..." ~robbie "You
think it's my locker I go to..." ~broch
* It's pretty bad when Annie Chapman is out of control. ~vt
* Does
anyone want my melons? ~becky
* You're a Phantom Menace slut. ~broch to kt
* If I have to say I'm a larvae of
some sort of animal, she's dead! ~helms about robbie's assignment
* Put your legs together. We don't want any crotch
shots! ~mrs mcmahon
* I think I pulled my hernia! ~tina
* Does anyone have any liquid refreshment? ~becky
* "I'm sticking to the seat." ~becky "Aren't we all? I'm sitting on a furry seat, what's your problem?"
~mrs powers
* I smell...which bothers all the people around me, as well as myself. ~corinne
* ...I can tell
time...Mickey's hand is pointing to the... ~mrs powers to herself looking at her watch
* Those chicken patties were
like heaven on a bun. ~dubes
* I almost ran over a kid with my car yesterday and I was like 'Whatever, I don't care.'
~dubes
* I have to share a bed with my sister! I win! You lose! ~lindsay to eileen
* You can't have gym with
a hernia! ~tina
* It took a small sack of its belongings and tied it to a stick and hit the road with a smile and a
chuckle and a little spring in its step. ~ang about her brain
* People have called me a lot of things, but not a sex
object. ~robbie
* You know what's annoying? Parents in the morning. ~dubes
* "Becky, your enthusiasm and
your good humor astound me this morning." ~robbie "What can I say. I'm a bucket of sunshine." ~becky
*
Ellie, don't stand by a window when she comes for you. Carolyn, go run around the building three times. ~mrs smith
*
Those little kids should be shot. ~mrs mancini about lower school
* Silence is golden, ya brats! ~tina
* I love
Jane Fonda's legwarmers. ~smithers
* He's a tool. ~smithers about guy in documentary
* I will personally poop
on her if she chickens out. ~tina about broch
* This is the Pitts, eh Cunningham? ~kt to broch in cemetary
*
You know you gained weight when your underwear doesn't cover your bottom. ~dubes
* Does anybody have a crowbar in their
car? ~vt
* I want to be your lifeline. ~Jaime Burgis' speech
* I have the urge to pick up Smithers and run around
with him. ~dubes
* I always have a craving to pick up teachers. ~dubes
* They have my balls! ~mary in Bombardment
* I must say your pictures is quite disturbing. ~broch to hayburn
* Teachers look like deer in headlights. ~kt
looking at yearbook
* It's like whine whine whine whine, you sound like the Juniors. ~hayburn to kt
* Is that
Becky? Wow! ~hayburn about Becky's picture
* But these exams are like 'what do you think...of cheese...as a hat?' ~mary
about religion exams
* I have the bad breath of a lifetime. ~tina
* She's squishing my squish. ~briege about
broch
* I need my mommy to bring my clothes so I do not play naked. ~broch
* Shit burgers...with cheese. ~broch
* "Why aren't you wearing any underwear?" ~tines "i've decided to go commando from now on." ~aja
* I feel like a dead cat. ~beth
* Does somebody wanna slit my wrists? ~tines
* See, that was a partial
credit smile. ~tina to hayburn
* "We all had diarrhea." ~tines "That was two years ago." ~mary
"Well, we all had to take massive shits." ~tines "Thanks for clarifying that." ~vt
* I'm revelling
in my -ation. ~broch
* "It's not like you're getting a half-assed response." ~madeleine "It's full
ass." ~vt
* Does it smell like ass in here? Yes! ~mary in D24
* We drove to Johns Hopkins and I said I'd
get myself a little rich medical student. ~anne
* Would ya mind if I took off my shirt? ~tines to hayburn
*
I miss passing math. ~tina in calc
* Why don't you just kill me with your eyes! ~tina to hayburn
* Just quiet
down and learn math! ~tina
* "I've got eyes in the back of my head." ~tina "She's gonna get kicked out."
~dubes "I feel it coming a mile away." ~tina in calc
* Would you put that on the exam, Mr Hayburn? That's
a beast of a problem! ~tina
* Actually, I'm dyslexic but my mom won't let me take untimed exams which is good because
I need structure and I'll stop now because he's giving me an evil look. ~tina in calc about hayburn
* My voice keeps
cracking today. I sound like I'm in puberty. ~tina
* Does anyone have a rifle? Not that I'm gonna do anything with it.
~broch before calc exam
* I want to crawl in a corner and rock back and forth but there is no corner. ~kt
* Is
that a Martha Stewart recipe? Because she has a knack for making flavored butters. ~broch
* I've got boots! With heels!
And my butt's pointing at you! ~kt threatening broch
* Waste your money on me! I'm cuter than a boyband. ~kt to broch
* Why am I always your defense mechanism? ~briege to ellie
* Wow, Briege, look at your lightsaber compared to
Ellie's. Your's is like a nose picker. ~kt comparing Qui's lightsabers
* Katie is an idiot, do-da, do-da. ~briege
* I'm thin. People think I'm disgustingly thin. People think I'm anorexic. ~broch
* I don't even know what position
Katie's in. I'm upside-down. ~broch
* It's not my fault your boob was wandering. ~broch to briege
* I just had
to see a man spanking another man and I feel violated. My virgin eyes! ~briege
* The fact that I'm smoking so much crack
tonight might explain why I can't understand anyone tonight. ~briege
* Don't make me laugh when I have hot things in
my mouth. ~briege
* Here's the line...there go I am. ~kt about crossing the line
* "I haven't had a drink
since 1980 when I was pregnant with Jenna and look how much fun I am!" ~mrs mancini "Mrs Mancini, don't drive us
to drink...that was a joke." ~helms
* I'm not a big butterlicker myself. ~briege
* I inadvertantly brushed
my leg up against your date's leg...oops! ~broch to becky
* My dress keeps mugrating south for the winter. ~becky
* Male?! Can I use you as a post office? ~broch to joe (becky's date)
* "I'm not a lady. I'm a man!" ~kt
"Good, then I can jump you." ~briege
* You don't know how hard it is to get changed without a thumb. ~broch
* Wouldn't it be weird if you were a tv and people stared at you all day? ~broch
* I want to be a fetal pig so
people can dissect me. ~ang
* If I wasn't mentally decapitated, I'd have one. ~broch about NHS hoods at graduation
* What is the 'applesauce'? ~broch
* "I'm bored out of my mind." ~kt "I'm just out of my mind."
~ang
* Pride keeps me straight. ~pat about posture
* Going straight on Gaynor. ~kt
* I like having room
in my pants. ~briege
* I don't think my mom wore pants to school. ~kt
* Grape me. ~ang
* What's the singular
of 'skeet'? Skoot? ~ang
* If I were knighted, I would wanna be named after a tea too. ~ang
* I want to be a big
beautiful black man. ~ang
* I just want to sit here. I don't want to be groped or anything. ~ang
* I'll be your
pillow...meow. ~broch to ang
* The moose moos. A mooing moose. Moooo. ~krop
* She gave me life, I can give her
food! ~broch about why she always brings her mom food
* Pants, shmants. You all want to see my legs. ~broch
*
A cop'll drive by...COP! ~kt
* Cows don't know anything. They just moo and say 'Milk me.' ~kt
* Where are my kets?
Oh, they're in my crotch! ~broch
* Excuse me, my fly is down. ~briege
* I'm rediscovering all the sounds I can
make. ~mike mcClarnon
* You cheated! Turn your balls in! ~broch at minigolf
* "You want a spoon up your butt?"
~kt "Might as well, I have everything else there!" ~briege
* I brought like 50 pounds of...VCR...feed...
~kt about tapes
* I think we should make a movie called 'Eaten By a Sea Monster in West Chester.' ~ellie
* I thought
that bearded man was Brochet. ~thought by kt, briege and ellie
* There's my towel from the pool...ooo, I just popped!
~broch
* How come oriental-type people always know karate and I don't? ~kt
* I hope no animals were filmed in
the making of this movie. ~kt about Ace Ventura
* Everyone has to have a pair of sequined underwear. ~briege
*
"My tongue does exotic dances." ~broch "I really don't need to hear this." ~mrs ryan
* He's such
a tool. And he's not just a small tool, but a major tool...like a hacksaw. ~broch about mr K
* "I could be sitting
around the bonfire right now getting drunk." ~becky "I'd rather be watching 'Dick.'" ~kt
* They let
me out of the cube! They let me out! ~ang
* It's not pastable! Pastable! hahaha! ~broch
* "We're like the
rejects over here." ~kt "Don't worry, you'll score tonight." ~ang at Sproul Lanes
* The should call
it Sprout Lanes and put brussel sprouts all over the place. ~broch at Sproul Lanes
* Where was I? Off galavanting with
my galavanting homies? ~kt
* "No violence! It's not golden!" ~kt "I like violence. It is my friend."
~briege
* Sorry, the Force doesn't help patheticness. ~kt to broch about bowling
* I am a beautiful person! ~broch
getting another gutter ball
* Holy strawberries Batman! We're in a jam! ~broch
* Dude, you eat like a camel. I
was gonna say slow, but camels are kinda slow... ~kt to ang
* My rep? You mean keep my rep as a big old ghetto bitching
ass? You have me confused with Angela. ~kt to briege about defending her rep
* I wish I was as scrawny as Beck. ~briege
* "Half of me wants to chop off my hair." ~briege "I know that half. But then the other half sits on
that half and says 'No'." ~kt
* If it's free, it's for me. ~briege
* I like wearing rubber in general. ~broch
* "My name is Hose...Pantyhose." ~broch "And you're the new porn star of the year?" ~katie lucente
* "I wonder what Mr Jones is doing." ~briege "Can you say obsession?" ~broch
* "It's hot
out." ~kt "I know. And you're hotter than the weather, baby." ~broch
* I'm high on life...and many other
fumes. ~kt
* Damn! I forgot I was going to starve myself until I got a boyfriend. ~tina
* That was horrible! That
was like a big chain of molesting little boys! ~briege about 'Bug Juice'
* "I shaved!" ~kt "I didn't."
~broch "I'm wearing pants." ~briege
* "There's three of us..." ~broch "Again..." ~kt
"We should call ourselves...the three...Langoliers." ~broch
* ....because she's talking like a fairy on drugs.
~katie lucente about why her sister is a freak
* Maybe we should collaborate the peanut butter cult with the bitter cult.
~broch
* Broch, we're in public. You're in the way. ~briege
* I'm frightened. She's using the cutlery...in legal
ways. ~broch about kt
* Katie's motto: Just be happy I clean myself. ~broch
* Do not mangle my bunny! ~broch
*
Mr Taylor grabbing anyone's butt is just wrong. ~broch
* "You know the first thing Becky did when she met my grandmother?"
~briege "Take off her shirt?" ~broch
* When I think of Mr Keaveney, the first thing I think of is slut. ~ellie
* Me and my brother used to play 'Hide the Pound Puppies' in the Christmas Tree. ~broch
* "I just ate a kitchen
sink last night." ~briege "You ate a piece of Nsync?" ~broch
* Buying videos is better than buying CDs
because videos are visually stimulating. ~broch
* It just pooped into my head...make that popped, not pooped. What a
typo. ~kt in an IM
* Hello! I'm naked and holding a razor. ~broch about Mach 3 commercial
* Briege is bursting my
bubble. ~broch
* "I love your pouty face." ~broch "It's the Vulcan Death Glare." ~maggie
*
It's kinda like when you see a cute guy and you wanna squeeze his butt but you can't so you hafta tie your hands behind your
back. ~broch about subconsciously jumping out of the Ferris Wheel
* I'd make a great mom. I eat everyone's leftover food.
~broch
* "Where did 'bow wow' come from? What dog says 'bow wow'?" ~broch "Well, no dogs that you know."
~ang
* Don't make me breathe on you. My breath smells. ~kt
* Coordination, you're the one! ~ang singing about briege
* It's fun to kill them with beer. They get drunk and, like, die. ~ellie about slugs
* It's your colleague, Dr.
Pewter! ~ang
AND HERE STARTS QUOTES from college and beyond
* Another reason, girls, to take Calculus. It's where
the boys are. ~Serotta
* My father used to say 'even though you're a pain, you're not made of glass.' ~serotta
*
They've [Mexico] lost more people than Firestone tires. But you know, it's Mexico, what's a human here or there. ~serotta
about going down the pyramids
* Do you have a wig? ~sean to carolyn
* I am just a big ball of sex. The fro just
screams sex. ~carolyn
* Will you make us minty fresh? ~briege to kt
* I have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn.
~briege
* Don't you want my corn? ~carolyn to chickens
* "I have webbed feet. You wanna see?" ~carolyn
"You have webbed feet?" ~kt "No." ~carolyn
* Don't get me started about how obsessed Eleni is with
my rack. ~briege
* "You know that movie, Fevil's American Tale?" ~jeff "Yeah, I loved that movie."
~some guy "You were hardcore." ~jeff
* "So you were conditioned to be afraid of mice." ~dimattia
"I'm not afraid of mice. I'm afraid of Fevil." ~jeff
* I don't like cartoons now. You have to think too much.
~girl in Psych
* "Tough's when you can put a cigarette out on your arm." ~jeff "No, that's stupidity."
~some guy
* I think music brings people together. Music mixes the bourgeoisie and the rebel. Or is that Tang? ~TimJReed
on beck list
* I've been listening to lots of Disney music, drowning my sorrows...and eating lots of french toast. ~broch
* The cattle are lowing because people are tipping them over. ~broch
* I must be breaking the 10th commandment because
I'm coveting your goods! ~ang
* I can't wait for menopause! ~kt
* "Pull something out of your butt." ~briege
"I will. It may not be charming, but I will." ~kt
* Three girls...and me. ~sean in car with kt, briege and
ellie
* The few days fly by like a brid on crack, all crazy and fast. ~kt about Kairos
* I'm getting all philosophical
in my head now and it's hurting. ~kt
* You know her. She's got moral issues with, like, fish. ~carolyn about ellie
*
Mommy, why are you wearing your pajamas and a fur coat? ~briege
* What is it, like the night of sluts and old people?
~briege at baskin robbins
* Whatever happened to good old rotary phones? ~charles in calc
* This is scary and reminiscent
of Physics. ~jeff in calc
* You be steppin', bitch. ~briege
* There's nothing psychologically wrong with me. I'm just
a girl. ~lisa in HoSem
* You are just using me for my good looks and my car. ~kt to briege
* "The world would
be so much easier is no one had invented Calculus." ~charles "But then we wouldn't be able to fill up our swimming
pools." ~jeff
* Me and my ass would just be a big conglomeration of asses. ~briege
* "What happens when
you give a drunk coffee? You have a wide awake drunk." ~dimattia "Put him in the shower. You've got a wet drunk."
~aaron, in Psych talking about drunks
* "How do guys express love?" ~dimattia "I dunno...drive her somewhere...watch
the game with 'em..." ~aaron "Wax her car." ~jeff "How do women express love? Would you wax your boyfriend's
car?" ~dimattia "No." ~girls in Psych
* "So you're saying it's [California] a mecca of weird people?"
~dimattia "We can all be weird in Cali." ~jeff
* Tell Briege to suck an egg. ~broch to kt
* "You're
an itch." ~broch "The scratch me." ~kt
* Where is she? What, is she taking a dump or something? ~broch
about briege
* This game's fun when I'm paying attention. ~ang about Monopoly
* Am I nipply or am I okay? ~broch
*
Soft rock...wouldn't that be limestone? ~kt about 'soft rock' music
* I got a log and some booze. ~broch
* My head
hurts when I do my Beaker. ~broch
* "Suddenly...I'm not half the man I used to be..." ~broch singing "What,
did Loreena Bobbitt get to ya?" ~kt
* I'm gonna run into the wall. ~broch
* I don't wanna eat it, I just wanna
whack it. ~ang
* I like to whack it, whack it. ~ang
* Let's be crafty...but not in a devious way. ~ang
* I'm on
a roll, but not with butter. ~ang
* We crossed paths with Maggie on our way in...good thing you're not a black cat. ~ang
to maggie
* Forget the whales, save the cupcakes. ~ang
* Don't run, ya jackass. ~dad watching football
* Katie,
you've got a big bag of M&Ms and a new movie. It's alright. ~kt to herself trying to calm her road rage
* "I
brought you up wrong." ~mom "Yeah, I hate people and I don't smoke." ~kt
* It was like a gingerbread house
without the gingerbread. ~ang about Oak's theater
* "Let's get raped." ~kt "That'll take an hour."
~ang about killing time before movie
* Ummmm...aardvark. ~shirt in Mustard Seed
* I have a ghetto booty. I could be
black and no one would notice. ~briege
* What character's...vehicles...told Jabba...claimed...C-3PO...did Lucas? ~kt combining
different questions in attempt to confuse Ellie during SW Trilogy Trivial Pursuit
* You're my little headache. ~mrs ryan
to briege
* I'm running out of ink already. God I hate this college. ~neal newman using board marker
* He was like
'Damn, I'm hungry' but He also thought God-thoughts. ~jeff about Jesus being human and divine
* "Would you like to
be a board member?" ~mom "I'm bored enough already." ~kt
* "It would be nice for you to do something
for Chester County Pro-Life." ~mom "Would that require getting out of the house?" ~kt
* "I thought
you hate people." ~mom "I do." ~kt "C'mon!" ~mom "I'd run them over if it wasn't illegal."
~kt "You're talking about God's children." ~mom "Well, obviously He got annoyed with them. Hello! Big Flood!"
~kt
* "When was I due?" ~kt "When were you due? When's your birthday?" ~mom
* "I don't go
into the cafeteria." ~kt "Why not?" ~mom "People are in there." ~kt
* "How do people meet
each other then?" ~mom "Show a little leg." ~kt
* You're always blowing something. ~briege to kt
*
Are you deflowering Mommy? ~briege about Becky's flower losing petals
* I think I figured out now about the pregnant paragraph.
You are pregnant with Broch's baby and Mr Taylor is having his second baby from your brother Pat. Did I get that right? Now
that leaves your bro's wife and Ewan. Dude, you better find out about that affair! ~ang in email to kt answering her letter
about who's pregnant: Pat and Kelly, kt and Ewan, briege and VT, and Jackie and Chris
* I think my brief fling with boyfriendom
was just that, a fling, and I am back to my old ways of living a cloistered life of solitutde and loneliness. hehe. No, it's
more fun to be free of the whole boyfriend thing. It's annoying to have to call and report where you are like all the time.
Bleck, it's like going out with your mom. I'm sorry, I think I just ruined your image of dating forever. ~ang to kt in email
* "I'm gonna be known on the Main Line as the babysitter who cuts the children." ~kt "And does it while
the parents are home." ~mom
* I'm a gothic cowboy. Can I hit on you? ~kt to briege online
* "My ever so
supportive friends." ~briege "Bras give support, not friends." ~kt
* "I better get to the dermatologist."
~mom "Why, is your vanity getting the better of you?" ~kt "No, I've got this thing on my face." ~mom
"Is it called a nose?" ~kt
* She used to read me the Good Book whle jostling me on her knee. ~becky about her
mom
* If there was a version of Mr Taylor who wasn't a dopehead and a drunk, and was thirteen years younger, I would be
all about that. ~briege to kt
* On your paper you will see a number in a circle that will make you want to cry and kill
yourself. Ignore that. ~gorman handing tests bacl
* Look at that day out there. I just wanna run around shirtless for
some reason...thrill the ladies. ~jeff
* First he likes the Pope, then he thinks the Pope is wrong, then he's like 'Don't
hurt me Pope.' ~jeff about Martin Luther
* You know, if we could cut this class short, that's be phat. ~jeff to gorman
* My sensai says the best self defense is 'run-fu.' ~gorman
* When Deacon George arrived for Mass tonight, he says
to me, 'Yo man. You're not wearing pink tonight, are you?' And I said to him, 'No man, I'm wearing rose.' ~Fr. Joe about his
'rose' colored vestments
* This room has a lot of distinct odors. Sometimes it smells like a bathroom, sometimes it smells
like fish, and sometimes it smells like a bathroom mixed with fish. ~jeff about religion room
* "I don't believe
in Heaven." ~guy "Well it's a good thing 'cuz I don't think you're going." ~gorman
* People who see aliens
never live in New York City. They live in Jabip and are married to their sister. ~jeff
* "How do you know that Jeff
exists?" ~gorman "I can see him, I can touch him, I can smell him..." ~david "Isn't that nice."
~gorman
* My parents could probably have bangin' Cadillacs is I didn't go here. ~jeff
* "I want something fuzzy."
~kt "Go play in the dryer. There's lint in there." ~mom about kt wanted gerbils
* "Wouldn't it be cool
to be a hick?" ~pat "Yeah, but then you would probably be married to me." ~kt "Or your cousin Colleen."
~kelly "Colleen's a hottie." ~pat "But I have all the Simpsons episodes on tape." ~kt "Oh, that's
true...my sister or my cousin..." ~pat
* Some people sleep with the teacher, I watch more movies for extra credit.
~kt
* My pasty little Celtic friend. ~briege to kt
* I only strip, I don't touch. ~briege
* "What's the Kama
Sutra?" ~ang "The Indian book of sex." ~kt "Thanks for that. That's another wrinkle in my brain I didn't
need." ~ang
* Sometimes I feel like a solar panel. ~ang
* Did you see 'Jesus Christ Superstar' the video? Jesus
is hot! ~ang
* "Just call me a horny toady." ~kt "Actually, I think of you as more of a stimulated spider."
~briege
* "Want me to check it out this evening and get mack to you on where?" ~briege "Mack to me? Are
you the daddy mack?" ~kt "Of course, dude. Didn't you know? See Briege. See Briege pimp. Pimp Briege, pimp."
~briege in an IM
* "I can't maintain your girlish figure." ~briege "My girlish figure?" ~kt "My
figure resembles that of a cow." ~briege "A female cow at least." ~kt "I do not have udders." ~briege
"Ummmm..." ~kt
* If everyone just followed the Golden Rule, shit would be cooler. ~jeff
* "If we wanted
to know the Truth, we could just open the Ark of the Covenant." ~david "But I'm not Indiana Jones." ~dave
* If you were in class, semi-conscious, and took notes, you'll be fine. ~gorman about final exam
* "I had Psych
before." ~jeff "Yeah, you were in my class." ~kt "Oh yeah! See what drugs do to you? They mess you up
and make you forget things." ~jeff
* Procrastination is an art, katie. Be a sculptor. Find new and inventive ways.
~maggie in an IM
* You are definitely humping that with your fingers. ~briege to kt
* You can like God and still smoke
pot. ~briege
* Hello, I am Santa Clause and I am going to rape you. ~kt to briege
* "What's horsie say, Iain?"
~jackie "Please don't make glue out of me!" ~chris
* "Shove it, Whiskey." ~broch "But where?
I only have so many holes in my body." ~kt
* "Have you ever had a 'Nutty Irishman'?" ~briege "Yes!"
~broch
* "You thought Mr Hayburn was cute!" ~kt "From the side! From the side! Then he turned and it all
went away!" ~ang
* "Purell, Angie?" ~broch "No thanks, I'm driving." ~ang
* My fork does
not enjoy being probed. Please do not probe my fork. ~kt to ang
* Look, I'll be nice to you but I won't be pleasant. I
draw the line at pleasancy. ~ang about guy who asked for quarter
* We're Wiccan and we're happenin'. ~ang about Salem
State College
* I want to be cremated and sprinkled over James Dean's grave. ~ang
* "Why is no one paying attention
to me?" ~kt "Because you're odd." ~ang
* Let's not discuss nor analyze your pouch. ~kt to ang
* "How
many times does it take to hit your head on a cushion before you get a concussion?" ~kt "I don't know. I've never
made it without biting." ~ang
* It's my tribute to Elvis and we'll leave it at that. ~ang about her sideburn
*
Witches and ships, witches and ships. I thought we were going to Boston. ~ang
* I think we're three extra wheels on the
'Love Train.' ~kt about kt ang, and maggie in Troy
* I wish people would pay me not to wear underwear in public. ~briege
* "Ahh! The condom commercial!" ~kt "I probably have some at my house." ~briege after miller lite
and condom commercial
* I just feel bad for naked horses. ~ang watching Toy Story 2
* Twinkies are Satan in a wrapper.
~ellie
* Bullshit, it makes the grass grow gree...bullshit, I love my bullshit.... ~Dad randomly singing
* What's
a 'Bon Jovi'? ~mom
* It's not time for love making yet! ~ang
* Are you a nun or are you a lay? ~briege
* If JarJar
doesn't die in Episode II me thinks me gonna be one pissed off person. ~kt
* "He's hot even when he's drawn."
~briege about Obi "Who, Yoda?" ~ang
* If you're weird, don't get a girl haircut. ~ang
* I wanna marry a
french ballerina. ~ang watching An American in Paris
* I'm being serenaded by the building. ~krop about Bertucci's
*
"You cut cake. She does technical stuff." ~briege about ang "I have to be sociable to nuns." ~kt
These are quotes that I have randomly heard now and then
* They're pants without a crotch. ~Briege about Kt's skirt
* Is that clown a man or a woman? ~kt
I think
it's a man. ~briege
Yeah, cuz if he was a woman there'd be something there. ~kt
Yeah cuz his gut's much
bigger than the top. ~briege
Unless his hoo-hoos are very droopy. ~kt
Wouldn't there be two shapes? ~briege
Maybe it's a uni-hoo. ~kt (about a guy dressed as a clown on July 4th)
* They're a playground for everyone.
~briege about her hands
* I'll jump on you. I'll be your courtesan. You don't have to pay me. ~briege to kt
* You don't hold me anymore, Briege. ~kt
Unless you turn into an attractive man with an accent from the British
Isles, you're out of luck. ~briege
Dude, I would make out with myself! ~kt
* I probably should have put
some pants on. ~broch
* She's so normal. How do you hang out with her? ~briege
They call me 'The Cameleon.'
~ang (about Dawson)
* He's got one kid and another one in the oven. ~briege
He's quite the baker. ~ang
(about Ewan)
* What is Swiss Miss? Is it German or Swedish? ~ang
I think it's German. ~briege
I believe it's Swiss. ~kt
* How does one 'get their freak on?' ~kt
Step One: Put on your freaky clothes.
Step Two: hang out with your freaky friends. Step Three: get your freak on. ~ang, in a Robin Leech, head mistress English
accent
* My wife has a gun. ~dad in response to a telemarketer calling about 'The Sloman Shield'
* I think my
roomie is afraid to go to sleep before me cause I told her that I might need to find human tissue samples for my Histology
class. Eye sample...(scrape...scrape...) ~ang in AIM profile
* I have the amazing ability to fall asleep immediately
as my head hits the pillow. Some say it's sleep deprivation, some say narcolepsy. I say it's a super-human power that will
allow me to take over the world in three short months...(evil laughter) ~ang's Away message
* If this gets any cheesier
I'm breaking out the nachos. ~kt about 'The Musketeer'
2 seconds later:
Here come the nachos. ~kt
* That's
funny. I can't get statutory raped. ~briege about being 18
* "How are you going to find a decent man?" ~mom
"I dunno. Maybe I'll go gay all of a sudden!" ~kt "Ahhhh!" ~mom
* Who knows what my beliefs are?
What if I'm an atheist, pagan, pacifist, nudist? Do you want to hear what I believe? ~Prf. Redd in Sociology
* I will
put all of you to shame with my bullshitting abilities. ~Prof. Redd
* "Who is a genius in bodily-kinesthetic?"
~Stern "Richard Simmons." ~random girl "I would hesitate to call him a genius." ~Stern "Maybe
in outerspace..." ~Matthew
* "I've got a sweet buttload of change." ~briege "A sweet buttload? Is
there such a thing?" ~kt
* I can't scream and yell at the same time!...I mean laugh. ~briege
* Leeegolas! My
prison bitch! ~kt
* Legolas! I'm wearing a loincloth and I look like a Mohichan. ~briege about animated LOTR
* "You're
acting like babies." ~Mrs. Jackson "Alien babies." ~Tyler (from my field experience class)
* This shirt
is from Old Navy. All the cool kids go there. ~Brett (field experience)
* He's kind of twig-like. ~ang about John
*
When one does not have a conscience, one has a very big problem. ~Stern
* Katie's feet are gay. ~briege
* "You
have a perverted mind." ~briege "I got it from you." ~kt "It's not communicable." ~briege "It's
contagious." ~kt "It's not an STD." ~briege
* Keep in mind if you're in a good movie, it's there for all
time...bad movie, there for all time. But I was paid well, so I laughed all the way to the bank. ~Neal Newman, about being
in a bad movie
* I have yet to figure out if [fish sticks] are really a food. ~Dr. Middleton
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